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  1. M

    The downside of poly

    She was a roommate first. She and my husband had a spark, and I was alright with letting them date. At the time I was friends with her, though I didn't know her very well. I know, I know - don't date roommates. We made a lot of early mistakes. From the start when she moved in, she didn't...
  2. M

    The downside of poly

    This is what I just don't understand. It's his right to live with whom he wants, but I have no say if it conflicts? I went to him the other night and told him that I'd be willing to ease up those restrictions if it's confirmed that she's moving out. It turns out, he wasn't even at that page -...
  3. M

    The downside of poly

    A number of people I'm wanting to respond to... I really don't know what I can do. I've given up a lot and I don't get anything out of this, so when I'm being told I'm being selfish for stating my needs, it's just confusing and painful. She is hostile towards me. I've been under so much...
  4. M

    Wedded Bliss?

    My only advice is to take it very slowly. Have a very long 'engagement' before making things officially equal across the board. More time together will work out some of those problems naturally as everyone gets really comfortable with each other.
  5. M

    The downside of poly

    I'm lost in limbo, waiting. A few weeks ago, I told my husband that our third (his girlfriend) needed to move out of our house because I didn't want her to be part of our family household. She's been living with us for about a year and a half. There were some serious communication issues...
  6. M

    I am the wife...

    I don't think you should feel obligated to like the people your husband dates. You need to have some seriously intense conversations with your husband to set up a 'poly agreement' so he understands the boundaries and you can feel safe. There are online articles and books that talk about this...
  7. M

    Dating Married people

    I prefer to date married men. I am married myself, and I only want secondary relationships where we see each other now and then. By sticking to men in solid, healthy poly marriages, I can try to avoid starting a relationship with a guy who needs more than I can give him. A married couple...
  8. M

    Breaking Up

    Well, she didn't stop working because of the economy, it was her own choice. She was only doing very part time tutoring work at the college she attended before she dropped out. She's never made any efforts time find any kind of work whatsoever since then, though suggestions have been made, and...
  9. M

    Breaking Up

    I made a post a short while ago about the V relationship I've been in for a bit over a year now. That post focused on one aspect of the difficulties. Since then, I've been taking the advice given here and from friends and my therapist - being honest with my feelings, not bending over backwards...
  10. M

    What do you do when You change?

    I want to thank everyone for their comments... With these suggestions and things to think about, I was finally able to bring all of this up, and a couple days later we talked about it with our therapist. It was a hard discussion, especially at first, but the therapist helped translate it so my...
  11. M

    What do you do when You change?

    There are only a few of the meds I take that will eventually be removed, but a few will be lifelong companions by necessity, like for minimizing the blod clotting and Lupus flares. As for psychiatric medications, I know they do help me - we're just trying to find the right balance. I've got...
  12. M

    What do you do when You change?

    I'm 26. No health issues in childhood. When I turned 20, I had a blood clot in my leg (DVT) and lung (pulminary embolism) and was diagnosed as being hyper-coagulative. That was the first big thing. But after getting on medication for it, things were quiet for a few years. I had dizziness...
  13. M

    New and in need of Advice. Vent-ish

    My husband's girlfriend has ADD, and possibly mild Asperger's. She can come across as being very carefree and simple, in that she goes with whatever everyone else wants and rarely makes an opinion. That would drive me nuts, because I don't like when people say they don't have opinions - it...
  14. M

    What do you do when You change?

    I’m part of a V relationship. My husband and I were married (and casually poly) several years before his girlfriend became part of our household (she was a roommate first, it just kinda happened) over a year ago. It was alright at the time, and really everyone has been very supportive of one...
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