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  1. BreatheDeeply

    What you listening to Now :

    A lot of Purity Ring at the moment (don't let the name fool you if you haven't heard them before). Anyone been to their concerts? Missed them when they were here in Sydney, bought tix, then got the date wrong.
  2. BreatheDeeply

    Hello all.

    This is a good chance for you now to venture out and try different partners too if that's what you're interested in. Maybe I'll throw this in the mix though - are you a bit jealous of the fun she's having? If so, then maybe asking for more ffm 3somes would help to balance the fun-equation a bit.
  3. BreatheDeeply

    Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

    I don't get why some guys are so bad at writing. What percentage, anyone, would you estimate of the posts you receive are just poorly written?
  4. BreatheDeeply

    How to break the cycle of insecurity and reassurance

    Correct me if I'm wrong GG - but my interpretation is that you should focus more on the meaning of responses that serve to reassure you rather then those that simply make you feel insecure. By allowing your conscious thoughts to pay too much attention to your insecurities you run the risk of...
  5. BreatheDeeply

    Why and how did you get into poly?

    What's so interesting about what you said is how the advances had to be plausible to you. Now that we live in a period of time where tech advances are on an accelerating curve, most of the concepts I had written off (along with open relationships) in sci fi are now very plausible. NASA has...
  6. BreatheDeeply

    Why and how did you get into poly?

    I had read Heinlein too, but just assumed that like most concepts in sci fi that it was just made up stuff. My life is filled with sci fi's empty promises of future worlds where people live incredibly long lives, visit beautiful worlds, and of course, as equally untrue, have open relationships...
  7. BreatheDeeply

    Boundary Dispute

    That's a real breakdown in communication on your wife's part. Someone once told me that the responsibility to get the message across lays with the communicator rather then the commnicatee (yes I know I'm taking liberty with grammar here). And it doesn't sound like your wife took the...
  8. BreatheDeeply

    baby steps.. (sorry, it's long)

    You're doing what you can, that's all you can ask of yourself. You're going slow, you're keeping everyone informed about what's going on with your feelings. They need to know that this is who you are, and if in fact it is, then it's as much a part of who you are as your gender or your...
  9. BreatheDeeply

    Broaching the topic

    I think you have to guage this based on your personal comfort level. I would not be comfortable telling someone who's not poly that I am poly. Mainly because I exist in a conservative environment and its really a matter of self-preservation. However, even if I lived in a non-judgemental...
  10. BreatheDeeply

    Interesting Article from Feminspire

    Thanks Meera, well written article.
  11. BreatheDeeply

    We Found Him! Now what?

    Just remember it's not a blind date, you've already been out with him a few times, just not alone. But that really doesn't change too much. He's still the same as when the both of you went out with him. If it's too stressful, pick an easier venue. Dinner and a movie maybe. Of even just coffee...
  12. BreatheDeeply

    Really need advice... First time in Poly relationship... deeply confused...

    First, let me just say that you've been through a rotten 'welcome to polyamory' experience! It just sounds as though your gf and her bf didn't get their act together before-hand and now you're suffering the consequences. Before getting into each part of your story, I just have to ask, didn't...
  13. BreatheDeeply

    I have just chosen poly over a potential monogamous life mate. Whoa.

    You didn't lose her, she lost you. The problem is that she has grown up in a world of assumptive monogamy, and few are able to stand outside of their cultural assumptions and evaluate their personal values on the merits only. Not her fault, and not yours either. Unfortunately human brains are...
  14. BreatheDeeply

    Greetings from TN

    Does she know this is going to be a deal-breaker? Just make sure she does, it's not a threat, it's just a clear establishment of boundaries. Every relationship has a terminal boundary, one that once crossed can never be un-crossed. This is that boundary for you. You know that once you set down...
  15. BreatheDeeply

    Coming out

    I exist in a conservative world (most don't even know I have a tongue piercing!), so I have never come out as poly. Perpetually in the closet to those around me. And that's not likely to change. But, when I do finally start looking for someone, sharing my poly nature is going to be one of the...
  16. BreatheDeeply

    why "poly women" are bisexual ???

    I probably just didn't search hard enough. I clicked through my own statistics page that links to all threads I've been a part of and it was missing from there. To paraphrase the thread (or that part that was offensive), a writer equated homosexual behavior with lack of manliness. As I speak my...
  17. BreatheDeeply

    U.S. Women in Combat Roles?

    It's very encouraging that, finally, there's some recognition that women have as much a part in the U.S. military as men. As some have mentioned here, women have been in front-line duties for ages, it's just never been officially recognized. And as many have pointed out, it's difficult to rise...
  18. BreatheDeeply

    Monogamist and a Poly

    I think it's really a sign of an incredibly mature mind that you are content with who you are and equally accepting of your wife's identity. It's something that is much easier said then done. That said, it doesn't mean you're a robot and don't have moments of doubt, insecurity and fear. It goes...
  19. BreatheDeeply

    A chance encounter with my meta revealed that all's not well. What should I do?

    I think you should sit down with your boyfriend and be blunt with him. Tell him that having her needs met is not something that can be ignored. She's not spontaneously going to be ok with you. And the longer shes struggles with her feelings, the more uncomfortable this situation is becoming for...
  20. BreatheDeeply

    why "poly women" are bisexual ???

    Well no, I haven't misconstrued it. The thread in question has been removed from this forum. I do retain email proof of its existence. That's a false statement. And I might add a slightly depressing one as well! Ideals can come true, and it always starts with people willing to speak up against...