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  1. Inaniel

    Handling financial differences

    Alright, if that's what she prefers, then I'll veer away from my other points. If I were in your shoes and falling for someone striving to better themselves, I'd want to lend a hand. It doesn't always mean throwing money at the problem. Alternatively you can try to offer support in smaller ways...
  2. Inaniel

    Handling financial differences

    I'm not sure why a majority here are opposed to you helping your girlfriend financially. The power dynamics between two people, wealthy and poor, I think, exist even without monetary exchange. May I ask what the age difference is? With the power dynamics already questionable, the remaining...
  3. Inaniel

    Are my only options to lose my husband, or stay mono?

    Will he do counseling with you? If conversations are falling apart maybe a professional in the room can help make it more productive. I think we have seen this advice given to people who are consenting but experiencing cold feet. In this case however, I don't see how it would be any different...
  4. Inaniel

    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    I would be interested in knowing the context behind his statement. I find the history portion of this thread fascinating.
  5. Inaniel

    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    I see at least five distinct topics being discussed. Polyamory: A Feminist Movement? I perceive this as a matter of definition. I would expect a feminist movement to define advocacy for equality as central to its definition. For instance, women’s suffrage clearly meets the criteria of a...
  6. Inaniel

    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    I took screen captures of the Morning Glory article and compiled them into pdfs if anyone is interested in reading it, I did this for my own sanity because that website was unbearable. They had to be compressed to meet the upload limits on this website so the quality is only so-so.
  7. Inaniel

    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    Right! The absolute and extreme hierarchy didn’t go unnoticed. Additionally, I found it telling that all of the most precious people in MorningGlory’s life were those her husband preselected and brought home, with their genders left unspecified. I’m uncertain about crediting the architects of...
  8. Inaniel

    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    I have been thinking about what MeeraReed said in regards to the origin of polyamory. Until Meera's post I was not giving any thought to the origins of the movement or the word, rather the definition as I understood it today. Regardless, I did some googling to land on the first use of the word...
  9. Inaniel

    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    I did not realize that. I was not able to go back and find that statement. My argument is based on the thread title, and the proposition as I understood it was: Polyamory specifically, as in can be defined as a "feminist movement". I do not think the issue was a false dichotomy, I believe...
  10. Inaniel

    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    I believe that online forums can develop a distinct culture. Regular users establish unwritten rules and norms that subtly govern behavior. The reactions of regular users to posts, including simple actions like likes/dislikes and tone, can create feedback loops that reinforce certain expressions...
  11. Inaniel

    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    @Mags You keep referring to FMF as polygyny. I don't know if that's meant to be a slight or if I'm just being sensitive. Regardless, I think the statement "FMF = Polygyny not polyamory" both narrows the definition of polyamory and broadens the definition of polygyny. When I describe my...
  12. Inaniel

    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    This website existed back when OPPs were discussed often, even by prominent members of the community if I am not mistaken? When I dig through old posts, I see a community that has evolved. I think polyamory and monogamy are relationship styles that go way way back but both have been influenced...
  13. Inaniel

    Polyamory is/is not a feminist movement

    This thread lacks any thesis so my understanding of the argument at this point goes something like this: “Polyamory is a feminist movement because monogamy is a product of the patriarchy”. Is that about, right? Does polyamory do enough for women’s issues to qualify as a feminist movement...
  14. Inaniel

    Questions to ask yourself before trying polyamory

    If you were to divorce and divide all assets, would you still be interested in pursuing polyamory together? Can you accept your husband/wife impregnating or becoming pregnant with another person? Are you comfortable subjecting yourself to some level of sexual health risks? Are you interested...
  15. Inaniel

    New and finding it hard to process

    I’m troubled by some of the rhetoric in this thread too. Saying yes out of fear is not consent. If your spouse resents you because you are unable to revoke the contract of monogamy, that is their choice to make and should not factor into your consent. That’s the biggest issue I see here, a...
  16. Inaniel

    Nesting

    Poly doesn’t mean that all of your previous standards for consenting to a relationship go out the window. I don’t date people who get black out drunk, or otherwise have poor boundaries that keep me up at night worrying about them. I drew that line in the sand long before poly was part of my...
  17. Inaniel

    Bed size questions

    You might also think about getting a sturdy bed frame… Particularly if there will be a lot of movement on the bed.
  18. Inaniel

    Help us define cheating/having an affair

    Polyamory is about being informed about other relationships and consenting to a relationship structure. It does not sound like you were informed about or consented to the love triangle you briefly became involved in. I get a little annoyed that some people think because I’m poly that I am...
  19. Inaniel

    My partner and my meta don’t communicate

    Are you close friends with the meta? Or is the polyship the only reason you associate?
  20. Inaniel

    First wife looking for advice and guidance.

    Worldwide, I imagine sister-wife polygamy relationships outnumber polyamory relationships. Those individuals face hostility on poly forums so they aren’t typically members of the poly community. Anyway In poly language what’s being described here is a mono-poly V with husband as the hinge...
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