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  1. M

    Asking for consent in open relationships

    That's priceless NovemberRain. Totally cracked me up. Have an image of you in the carpark not sure whether you're more freaked out about what just happened or that all you can think about is this thread.
  2. M

    Veto Arrangements - Merged Threads, General Discussion

    Thanks NYC and CDM for your feedback on the veto question. This website really is a great help. How anyone do anything before the internet? Sorry to the OP for the derail.
  3. M

    Poly, Voyeurism and Porn

    Might need to put the parents on the course first to get that to happen. ;)
  4. M

    Veto Arrangements - Merged Threads, General Discussion

    Yes this would be a very difficult thing to deal with. I realise it's easy for me to talk about this in "theory" as I'm not emotionally involved in the situation but I guess part of my idea of the poly I'd like to practise would be being open to my partner meeting someone else and loving them...
  5. M

    Poly, Voyeurism and Porn

    I'm more for user submitted videos than porn, produced movies look like people having bad sex to me. What's interesting is how people are now mimicking porn in their own sex which is a bit of a worry. No question there is a lot of exploitation and generally unattractive things about the whole...
  6. M

    Veto Arrangements - Merged Threads, General Discussion

    CielDuMatin, if you met somebody whose partner had power of veto, would this be enough to prevent you from attempting to form a 'more-than-friends' relationship with them?
  7. M

    Veto Arrangements - Merged Threads, General Discussion

    Yeh this seems like the really difficult part. Even assuming good intentions, you/they can't really know how they will act until the situation arises. I guess ultimately it's a good case for having metamours get to know each other and be friendly. It's harder to be an ass to someone you know...
  8. M

    Get a grip?

    Wow, thanks for that AutumnalTone. Sounds like a fine idea & not just for jealousy.
  9. M

    Greetings! I'm new and could use some advice :)

    Hi goodnightmoon. I'm not poly so I've been trying to keep my mouth shut around here and let those with the experience do the talking. Your post rang a few warning bells for me though, mono, poly or otherwise. First At a minimum he's been less than frank with you at the time of the...
  10. M

    When and how do you tell them?

    Surely that doesn't preclude us from being considerate of others though. Well she could have just asked "Do you have any partners who would not be ok with this?" which would hardly be an inquisition. If the other person chooses to lie there's not much you can do regardless, but at least it...
  11. M

    When and how do you tell them?

    Interesting. In a way it's a kind of DADT between the people having the "superficial sexual encounter". At the risk of derailing my own thread, some related questions are: What constitutes cheating to the folks on this forum? Or more to the point are there some kinds of cheating that are ok...
  12. M

    My boyfriend is upset, can you overcome jealousy issues?

    Dinged, To me the key word is "having". I would substitute "being able to". Aurelie cannot hand-off the decision to the bf anymore than she can hand-off my rust-bucket of a car to me as neither are hers to begin with. To my mind she has just put another option on the table. The bf is not...
  13. M

    When and how do you tell them?

    This is from the thread "Is it actually possible to pickup mono girls off the street without being creepy?" So this gets me wondering. When you date or sleep with someone, at what point do you folks ask if they are seeing someone else? How do you ask? - are you seeing other people? or -...
  14. M

    My boyfriend is upset, can you overcome jealousy issues?

    Dinged, If I were to go on Survivor and then realise half way through I couldn't hack it, I'd be faced with 3 choices. - quit the game ( either explicitly or by getting myself voted off) - continue on in misery - suck it up and try and find a way to prosper and maybe win the million So we have...
  15. M

    My boyfriend is upset, can you overcome jealousy issues?

    I tend to agree with this and this assuming the bf makes no efforts to resolve his jealousy issues however not this or this People can change if they want to. If the boyfriend is able to work through his jealousy issues there is no reason they can't be happy together, and who knows...
  16. M

    My boyfriend is upset, can you overcome jealousy issues?

    I agree hence my comment In addition she can also help him to identify a process which will help him understand and deal it. This is pretty much the entire point of what I've been banging on about. Love and encouragement for someone trying to fix a car is great. But a good book or course on...
  17. M

    My boyfriend is upset, can you overcome jealousy issues?

    Not sure about this. Sounds like a good first step but unless there's a concerted effort to get to the bottom of why he feels like this it's just kicking the can down the road.
  18. M

    My boyfriend is upset, can you overcome jealousy issues?

    I struggled with this for years. I'll tell you my experience but of course YMMV. There was a number of emotions at play. - Jealousy: my lover would leave me for him - Ego: I wanted to be able to make my lover feel this way. - Envy: I wanted her to be doing this with me. - Arousal: for me seeing...
  19. M

    My boyfriend is upset, can you overcome jealousy issues?

    Sounds like a grueling but worthwhile weekend. Huge respect for facing this and being so caring and honest with your bf. Couple of observations from inside the male jealous brain. - This will be very hard for him to deal with. Dealing with issues like this is not something we get any...
  20. M

    Compersion: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    Sorry. Didn't mean to offend. Guess I had my colonial hat on and was talking about the cultures exported from the old world to the new. Interesting. Sources? Are you saying compersion IS a very strong part of contemporary Scandinavian cultures?
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