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  1. V

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    Henry is dead. He killed himself. He was in a car accident two weeks ago and the ptsd wouldn't let him go. I just can't anymore. I will sell my soul to have him back omg he can't really be gone I need him.
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    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    Charlie has decided they are trans. I'm frustrated because I really truly think all of this makes no sense and that gender is stupid and full of stereotypes. I'm miserable at the idea that everything is going to be drama now. Everything is going to be harder. And I am so out of bandwidth for...
  3. V

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    I'm genuinely starting to believe that gender is just stupid, honestly. I do not see how it can be in any way a positive thing that does not feed into stereotypes. I don't understand why we can't just all be people and recognize that humans are complicated and no one is any one thing without...
  4. V

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    I didn't realize it has been so long since I've written! Life has just felt really heavy lately. Honestly, I don't even really feel like myself. I'm not sure I like the version of me I've been becoming lately, but the worst part is that I'm not sure I care enough to do anything about it. I'm...
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    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    I had a session with my counselor which helped to shake things out a bit in my head, and I've had a couple of conversations with Charlie as well. I am lucky that my counselor also has a good deal of experience with helping people on both sides of transitions as well as just exploring. She said...
  6. V

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    Well, we had a pretty good holiday season. Henry's family isn't local, but Charles' family is, and my mom was well enough to have a Christmas gathering, so we had a houseful for Christmas. It was a comfortably poly holiday and that was great. I'm finding myself more and more unhappy lately...
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    What are married poly women looking for?

    Honestly, I think this is about perception more than anything else. Typically, women on dating sites have to sift through a ton of low quality messages/hits/whatever you want to call them, from people who may not even remotely resemble what she's looking for. That's stressful. Typically, men...
  8. V

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    I don't know. I've never felt anything like that to be honest. I find physical attraction pretty low on my list of factors that make a person appealing, and I'm much more interested in what's inside the meat sack than anything to do with the rest of it. Just feeling super low tonight. It's...
  9. V

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    I guess the trans thing makes more sense to me than the fluid thing. It's hard for me to understand the shifting, honestly. Because it does seem different than just wearing feminine clothes. They've both done that already and that doesn't make me bat an eye because it's no big deal. But when...
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    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    I think that's the part I don't understand though. Why is what you wear or do related to gender? I'm still the same ME no matter what im wearing or thinking or doing. None of those affect my me-ness. So the concept confuses me. Doesn't that simply reinforce the gender binary if clothes or...
  11. V

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    Mags, I don't even really understand the whole nonbinary/genderfluid thing. I get that I don't have to understand because it's not about me, but it just doesn't make sense to my brain honestly. I think trans makes more sense to me because I can get the concept that you feel like you're the wrong...
  12. V

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    Well, kind of a lot has been going on and finding the energy and time to write has been low on my list. I've been finding myself angry and tired a lot lately, and that has sucked. I've been absolutely furious with Henry because he has let things slide around the house in terms of actual...
  13. V

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    Also a possibility! And until I hear what she would normally do, I'm just guessing. So I'm trying to shelve the whole thing until then. I love hosting parties, Jane! Always have. I hate the cleaning but I love the sense of offering people my hospitality and going over the top. Like the murder...
  14. V

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    Thanks for the comments, Mags. Much appreciated! I really do feel weird not inviting her solely because it's her birthday too but it will be good for Henry to check in with her and find out what she plans for her birthday anyway because maybe she wouldn't want to spend hers at a meta's party...
  15. V

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    So I guess lots of things to update. Charles found the crossdressing really hit a note internally and has been diving into explorations of gender. They don't think they're trans and have no intentions of transitioning, but the crossdressing is more of an identity issue than a kink. So they're...
  16. V

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    Apparently covid triggered T2 diabetes in a lot of people. I was diagnosed in March of 2022 so it was a big wakeup call for me. My A1C was 7.0 then and I've managed to get it down to 5.4 so it's under control now without insulin. I've lost nearly 90lbs since then and exercise 4-6 times a week...
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    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    Sadly, brought home a not-so-fun souvenir from Mexico- looks like I ate some sort of contaminated food, but no idea what since it takes about a week to show after exposure. I've been sick now with some version of Montezuma's Revenge for three weeks now. I've been so exhausted I can barely get...
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    How much time are you spending on sex?

    There's really no such thing as typical. People develop relationships to suit the members involved. The real question is, what do YOU want? Do you want a relationship that is focused mostly on sex? Or a different balance? I would spend some time thinking about that so you can articulate your...
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    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    I mean, I usually prefer to take trips with each of my loves one on one. Then I get the kid free time without having to worry about being fair to everyone. I figure if I was on vacation I wouldn't want to be spending all that money to not get to share all my time with my partner. But if they...
  20. V

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    Charles and I went to an AI in Cancun for our 5th anniversary and had a wonderful time. We had professional photos taken since we didn't really have any nice ones of us, and that was bothering me. We have a gallery wall in our living room with wedding pics of me and Henry. While Charles said he...
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