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  1. E

    Breaking Up

    Yea after a week of, mourning, not being able to listen to music (for fear of crying), talking to friends who agreed he totally "tricked" me and said I was better off with out him, and some heavy retail therapy (yes I totally need those red heels that say "f*ck me* hehehe) I'm starting to...
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    Breaking Up

    I know I am, and thank you for your words. He's been there through a lot of stuff with me and it just really hurts at the moment. I was in utter shock as this is what he wanted not me (the openness). I even laughed and asked if he was serious as that was our agreement. Just feel like I gave so...
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    Breaking Up

    I think it was more open. He didn't tell me until he actually slept with the other women. Yes you did read correctly he gave me and his secondary the option to be be open but didn't want us to take it. He said it was his way of testing us. I did end up calling his secondary to tell her what's...
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    Breaking Up

    So I've posted here in here in the past and everyone has been wonderful. I really can't believe what has happened. I've been in an open relationship for a year and half, or so I thought. My ex has been seeing his secondary for around 5 months. I guess he's been putting us through a test (me and...
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    Have any of you taken a "break" with your primary while still having a secondary?

    Haha no worries, I kinda figured that's what it meant or something to that effect. I would think the whole double teaming would be accurate except my boyfriend was the poly one and I was a mono until he introduced me to the concept, and I have no problem with it (as I've had other relationships...
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    Have any of you taken a "break" with your primary while still having a secondary?

    I have this nagging feeling that something isn't right. She deleted her online dating profile, he didn't. I know he doesn't want a mono relationship and is still looking to date (I saw him on Tuesday and we discussed things even further). Argh! I guess I just have to wait this out...supposed to...
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    Have any of you taken a "break" with your primary while still having a secondary?

    We've been together about a year and a half (sorry for not including that in) and he's been seeing his secondary for about 3 months (this is the first girl outside our relationship and I've been with one other about 8 months ago). I just started leaving stuff there when I had major surgery in...
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    Have any of you taken a "break" with your primary while still having a secondary?

    Have any of you taken a "break" with your primary while still having a secondary? Just curious if anyone has take a "break" (like not seen each other for a few weeks) while seeing a secondary in between. I don't live with my primary, but I did have all my stuff over there and a key. I don't...
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    Confused? Frequency changing...

    Yes he told me. So far yes, he hasn't lied to me yet, and to date he has been honest with me and yes I used to be one of those "crazy" types, who would check his email and ask him to show me his text messages etc as I used to be highly insecure. I know they had the conversation over instant...
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    Confused? Frequency changing...

    I have an update...today he told her :) She actually asked him who else he was seeing, actually asked for specifics, and he came clean with everything. You have no idea how happy I am, it feels like this huge weight has been lifted. She was very shocked but seems to be okay and accepting so far...
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    Confused? Frequency changing...

    I do, I know everything about her. I have actually said that to my partner and was angry as he sees it meddling in his affairs. Trust me I've thought long and hard about contacting her. I do feel bad about it as I don't want her to get hurt. I really hope that this isn't "him" per se. As he...
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    Confused? Frequency changing...

    This is my first poly relationship to be honest. And I agree. I hate all this drama and conflict and I hate fighting. I don't get it either. I just don't know how to proceed just leave it alone, or end it because I don't agreee and feel that is highly dishonest. I guess I just have alot of...
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    Confused? Frequency changing...

    Yes I am the "primary". She know's she's not the only one, but she also doesn't know how significant my relationship is with him. Telling her that it's casual and dating other people vs. the actual significance of the "others", the "others" factor being only me, just doesn't know. I know it...
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    Confused? Frequency changing...

    I agree, as she does want monogamy a relationship (so he has told me) but he has told her he doesn't. I agree...100% :(
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    Confused? Frequency changing...

    Trust me the last few days I've been looking long and hard at our relationship and how he is treating me and her and conducting himself. We've always been honest with each other, and to this date I do feel that he is honest with me. I do think in general he is a kind caring person, one of my...
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    Confused? Frequency changing...

    I do appreciate your honestly and bluntness, this is what I've been trying to explain to him. But he says he chooses to conduct his affairs as he see fit, and he has told her she is casual and she doesn't ask anything else about the matter. (he basically told me under no uncertain terms that he...
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    Confused? Frequency changing...

    I think I've worked through alot of my insecurites/issues concerning everything. Unfortunately him not telling her regarding our relationship is my hugest one. We have discussed it, and he says if she is around for 6 months, he will tell her and introduce us. To me it's just being sneaky and...
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    Confused? Frequency changing...

    I agree...but I think why I feel so strongly is because she doesn't know about us. He refuses to tell her he's an open relationship...which is one of the main reasons for our fights.. And since the schedule didn't work out for them this week, he is seeing her on Saturday when I see him, so I...
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    Confused? Frequency changing...

    Thanks Ariakas...your words are encouraging...I'm trying hard not to read to much into it. I'm sure I would need time to myself as well if I had a secondary...I guess if I see any other signs I'll have to cross that bridge when I come to it.
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