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Sherbert

I love your description of this. I don't know if chess auto-commentating is a thing many people do, but you're good at it!

Hey thanks for your welcome message on chess.com! I wrote a reply but when I posted it, it said "you cannot add links in your messages" and it had cleared my whole message. I had mentioned Polyamory.com in the message so I guess that's what set it off. Once I lick my wounds and have a clear...

It's so hard to have to process your grief separate from the network of others who cared for him. I hope you get some comfort from sharing with your friends, or this forum, at least.

MeeraReed - just a note. Jane had a painful separation not so long ago. There weren't many details shared on the blog but Jane did say that it didn't end well, unfortunately. Doesn't negate anything in your comment but just fyi

Well, I'm rather suggestible and this conversation will inevitably end with me playing on Chess.com too. I'm quite poor at chess so let's see how this goes....! My favourite game was with Lobe at a Yoko Ono exhibition where one of the interactive exhibits was a chess game with all the pieces on...

MeeraReed - a very belated thanks for your encouragement. I actually have tried to reply twice before. Once I took so long composing a post that the whole site upgraded while I was still typing it, and I only noticed when I tried to post - whoops. That went bye bye. Then recently I typed...

Also curious what you would find "productive" to "not productive" -- I'm guessing effort-to-award-ratio that the conversation stays on tracks that seem fruitful / interesting / useful to you and that aren't side tracked or gummed up in side issues? Other people will have different ideas about...

Hi MeeraReed - sometimes people can amplify certain voices in your own head. It's so understandable that you have mixed feelings (and you articulated what you feel, and why, really clearly in your post). It seems to me that your friends have picked up on the challenging threads of this move, and...

I'm not sure if this has been mentioned by others (I just skimmed a few posts) but you could also ask your best friend to stop sharing details of her sexual activities with your husband. Sure, that might make sense if she was dating a third person (maybe; I find sharing of intimate details a bit...

Your intuition is serving you well here. You're doing well to recognise that what may be meeting his (and his primary's) needs is not meeting your needs. I agree with "run away"; this person doesn't seem capable of negotiating agreements in good faith with you. You may be "new" to poly but you...

I grew up in Aotearoa / NZ and I don't remember junior proms being a thing! Is this a recent trend? I mean I remember school discos and formals and such, but I always thought of high school proms as something else that only happened in the US

Oooh, nicely done!!! I'm excited for you too. The house looks gorgeous - perfect for a mini polyamory.com convention ;)

I used to be confused about this expression too, but I used to misunderstand it as "have your cake" as in "eat your cake" (like "have a sandwich") and "eat it too" (which just doubled up the eating). Without the double eating, it still doesn't make much sense as you've pointed out. Re OP - I...

Bluewoman, you mention "word vomit" in your previous post, and in another post you said something about things being too much to write in one big paragraph. I wonder if it would help you to break up your thoughts into more paragraphs. It makes it easier to read, for us, but I'm thinking more...

You know you need to broach this asap. You could start with "I have something to raise with you. I would have said something earlier but I didn't expect to get along with you so well." And then go on to tell him about your relationship situation. That might well be the end of things with him...

Thanks for sharing your pain in an entertaining way. Since you have never known a non-porn penis bigger than yours til now, I guess you're only just now confronting the limitations of thinking (even subconsciously) that bigger is better when it comes to sex. Most people would've already needed...

I think you've identified this well. Say Sandra was your partner. She wanted you to meet her wife, but didn't want to meet your nesting partner and kids. That would probably make you feel wary that she was psychologically avoiding the reality that you, too, had a partner. Perhaps you would ask...

Ahh Jane, I'm so sorry for this horrible news. Even if you don't come back, you have our concern and support.

The word "ordeal" stuck out for me, too. If you're happy in your marriage and sex life with your husband, it could be wiser to turn down his suggestion. It sounds like you're feeling pretty "take it or leave it", even though it's good to feel like he would support you in this. I don't hear...