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    Rings

    My fiance and I are getting these rings (in royal blue, not indigo): www.etsy.com/transaction/30446383 We like titanium symbolically, and this artisan in particular... If/when Z decides to commit (which I truly mean in a value-neutral way; not sure how to communicate it in text right now), he...
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    Poly-themed Movies

    Tilda Swinton rocks I've heard Tilda Swinton is poly in real life. She's also the love of my life. (Shh, don't tell my boys that I'd be mono for her... :p) I feel like she's done some other poly-esque films, but I can't recall any. It might be worth checking.
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    And what about Guilt?

    Hell yes! I feel guilty often. I think it might be a 'hinge on the vee' problem in particularm judging by my immediate affirmation of the idea and the lack of similar responses. It was much worse when I was in an unhealthy vee. (I was the only point of communication, and one boyfriend wanted...
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    Article: Why Therapists are Down on "Alternative" Sex

    Nitpicking Polygamy is gender neutral. Polyandry is multiple men with one woman. Polygyny is multiple women with one man.
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    when things change...

    I am so sorry... (((hugs))) If I were you, I'd hug Perm, told him I loved him but I couldn't do it anymore, and leave. Maybe move in with Cue and L, at least until I could get my own place, but I'd be out and done. I'd get a lawyer and serve the divorce papers, make sure to watch my own ass in...
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    Success stories?

    living the dream... Ari's right that there's lots of success stories if you look around here. In case you're feeling lazy :p, I can share mine, though it doesn't meet your specs. I had a mono partner when I decided to admit that I was poly, and that relationship ended over it two years later...
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    How to live in 3's

    What we do at my house For fun, I'll answer. But first, context! I live with my fiance and my boyfriend (both primaries, we're a vee), and about eight other people-- the number waffles periodically-- including three others for whom the definition of our romantic status is "it's complicated"...
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    My(long) story, Am I Poly?

    Thinking things through Hush, it sounds like you've gotten into an awful predicament. A lot of people on here realized we were poly because of situations we've gotten ourselves into, many of which involved cheating. I cheated emotionally in every mono romantic relationship I was in, and even...
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    V, but my hinge is ... not... poly?

    Weighing in Hey, and welcome! You're right, it does sound like you're in a predicament. As a few others have said on here, it also sounds like you have the resources you'll need to navigate it-- I hope your whole vee does too. I've been in your shoes before. It's a hard line to navigate...
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    Why and how did you get into poly?

    I'm poly because... ... I'm not capable of ethical monogamy and personal happiness simultaneously. ... I tend to be mistrustful of dominant paradigms. ... I want to live my life as myself and without regrets. ... sexual intimacy is one of the most pleasurable ways of growing closer to the...
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    domestc discipline

    I'll clarify my point. The emphasis in my prior point is on 'consensual', with the safe word as one (albeit likely) method for ensuring consensuality. At least IMO, It matters that the slave/bottom/submissive/whatever label you choose be able to walk away-- call time out, leave the room, end...
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    Poly Lessons We've Learned

    There's a difference between rules and boundaries, I think, at least in my view of things. A boundary is a first person policy: "I won't have sex unless I love the other person," or "I won't date someone who refuses to use a condom." A rule is a second person policy: "You can't have sex with...
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    domestc discipline

    One point of clarification... When Ariakas talks about dominance and submission, he refers to a context in which the submissive person can choose to end the scenario at any point by saying a 'safe word', which essentially calls a time out to discuss what's wrong. If the submissive does not have...
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    Seeking balance

    I'm going to start with basics... Rather than "What needs to happen here?" let's try "What is happening here?" According to EL314, the majority of women on dating sites are looking to marry, with or without children from a prior relationship. Idealist suggests that cultural images of marriage...
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    Frustrated

    With your specific situation with the new lady-friend, I echo Ariakas-- couldn't say it better myself, Ari! In general: Personally, my way of grappling with it has been to come just about completely out of the closet. (Many of my coworkers know, much of my extended family knows, all of my...
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    NRE (New Relationship Energy) - Merged Threads, General Discussion

    Bringing in the theory Coming from a psychology perspective, I see NRE as an attachment-forming device. It's the same (brain chemistry-wise) as seeing a baby for the first time and wanting to scoop it up and keep it safe. The infatuation and affection of that period secures people a bit and...
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    merged and un-merged poly types coming together.

    RP, I feel like I totally understand what you're getting at by the idea of 'merging', which I think is largely due to my tagging along on the threads about primary/secondary labels for the past few months. I'm appreciative of and interested in your choice not to use those labels here and get at...
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    Advice: The correct Title wont Come to Me so pls Read

    My two cents... Hello, and welcome! You should know up front that I'm very poly-oriented personally, and that's going to tinge my responses a bit. I'll go through your concerns one by one... That she has a 'strong personality' is definitely part of why he loves her. That yours is (I'm...
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    Going at too slow a pace damaging?

    Short answer is: been there, done that, hated it. Read on for a long answer... I had been in a monogamous relationship for almost two years. We'd been talking for a year about some kind of open relationship, and my boyfriend had been extremely reluctant and uncomfortable. I started college...
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    Need help finding a guide on platonic vs romantic, help please :)

    What I do... First, an AWFUL song quote, from Fallout Boy: "Best friends, ex friends to the end, better off as lovers and not the other way around!" That was a breakup cd for me once, and I adore it on that basis. :rolleyes::D Honestly, RP, I handle this in a bit of an unorthodox fashion. My...
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