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  1. disappearingpoet

    Emotions vs. Rationality

    Hm. Generally, I try to validate feelings. Logic and emotion, for me, don't mix well. It's okay if somebody feels jealous. It happens. Looking at why might be good though, if it's something that really bothers them. Letting someone examine their feelings (or me examining mine, which has...
  2. disappearingpoet

    On the lighterside...The 'Things I never thought I would say...'

    Texting my boyfriend, as he's on his way up to a date: "Drive safe, and take pictures!" ;} And while talking with my female partner (background, 99.95% of my sexual experience is with guys.): L: I think we should talk about what kind of birth control we're going to use. I don't want any more...
  3. disappearingpoet

    Chooseing monogamy...easy way out

    It can be complicated. Society doesn't really legitimize polyamorous relationships, this is true. It also doesn't legitimize gay relationships, for that matter, in most places. Being different can be very very hard. For me, I would much rather be true to who I am, which is pretty different, than...
  4. disappearingpoet

    Polyamory and Language [Article]

    I like them expensive words. I save up to buy a whole bunch at once haha.
  5. disappearingpoet

    Polyamory and Language [Article]

    I came across this on another forum, and thought it was really interesting, how the language we use is developed, grows, and changes through usage. Link to full article
  6. disappearingpoet

    Helping a cheater change - an exercise in futility?

    Interesting thread all around. D has this- wiring. I've known him through at least one monogamous relationship that ended up dissolving, largely due to his cheating, but also because he was unhappy with the relationship and trying to be monogamous. That was a situation with a lot of jealousy...
  7. disappearingpoet

    Sort of an introduction... (Young couple with multiple interests)

    Welcome to the board. I'd be happy to answer whatever I can, if you have questions. I'm fairly new there, but folks seem really friendly, if you just hang out, I'm sure you'll learn a lot.
  8. disappearingpoet

    What is this "lifestyle" you mention?

    Mostly I just do that to be a butthead. I do the same if someone is tiptoeing around the fact that I 'choose' to be gay. I let them know that I support their right to choose to be straight, but that it doesn't work for me. :} The most common response is, "But... that's not really a...
  9. disappearingpoet

    What is this "lifestyle" you mention?

    I do. ;} Maybe I shouldn't, but it usually comes up when someone chews on me for how my relationships are (eg. "So, you're just cheating on each other?") I end up patting them on the head and saying that I support their right to choose a monogamous lifestyle, but that it doesn't work for me.
  10. disappearingpoet

    A few questions...

    My household is sort of a triad. Three of us who are all fairly equally partnered, in different ways. I think for us, our primary relationship is as a family, rather than any configuration of pairings within the group, and each of us is open to other relationships as they tumble into our lives...
  11. disappearingpoet

    Paths into poly

    My partner (D) and my relationship started as friends with benefits, at times we were just benefits and not terribly good friends, at other times we were excellent friends, sans benefits, and at times completely out of touch with each other. We decided to say that we were dating about two and a...
  12. disappearingpoet

    What is this "lifestyle" you mention?

    Can I have both? :} I think that in my household, as a family, we have a poly lifestyle... because that's our household. Most things I define individually. Kinky, but not necessarily "in scene" in some ways. Gay, but not really a part of "gay culture," etc. I just be me, and that works out...
  13. disappearingpoet

    When does attraction start?

    I think I go backwards on this. Men, I absolutely check out, and I can appreciate the aesthetics of a fine man pretty easily. And again, if he opens his mouth and pearls of nutcaseness fall out... I find myself very turned off and wish he wouldn't have said anything. Women I think I have to...
  14. disappearingpoet


    Hi, I'm R. I'm new here, just kind of browsing around. Poly in practice is sort of new to me, within the last six months or so, although it's something that my partner D and I have had in mind for a long time. D and I have been together for close to three years as a pair, most of that time...