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  1. J

    Baby mama won't let partner see child post divorce, but ex wife and step mom can

    Looks like Alexa will be supervising visits with Lake as that makes Cali more comfortable. So in some ways she is the price of Ava which is...a dynamic... I cannot control Alexa or Lake's choices here tho. So I'll just watch that play out from here and hope no one gets hurt.
  2. J

    Baby mama won't let partner see child post divorce, but ex wife and step mom can

    Yeah I think my anger with Alexa was a bit missplaced in some respects. Yeah, there is truth in that. I think you are right. It's a bit hard to do in practice tho. I find myself worrying about them and about Ava. Because I care about them and don't want them to get hurt, and unlike Lake, I...
  3. J

    Baby mama won't let partner see child post divorce, but ex wife and step mom can

    I think somewhere in between. She looked a house and didn't like it so it seems like it's not happening this minute anyhow. This is super real. I think I need to step back and let Lake manage their shit.
  4. J

    Baby mama won't let partner see child post divorce, but ex wife and step mom can

    Thank you for clarifying. This got me thinking about the situation a bit differently. I think this is definitely some of what is going on here as due to the rocky history Alexa would take lead on managing the relationship with Cali.
  5. J

    Baby mama won't let partner see child post divorce, but ex wife and step mom can

    Okay so your judgement here is primarily based on gender roles and stereotypes then. I cannot speak for how bio-mom's household operates but I do have a fair bit of insight into Lake and Alexa's. Both work, and both are queer. I think there is truth in parts of your comment. I think Alexa took...
  6. J

    Baby mama won't let partner see child post divorce, but ex wife and step mom can

    She certaintly thinks so. Although I know personally that I disagree with her judgement on this. But I'd be interested what stands out to you in this thread that makes you trust her character judgement? Is there perhaps something I am not seeing due to my personal bias?
  7. J

    Baby mama won't let partner see child post divorce, but ex wife and step mom can

    Oh so apparently now Cali wants to move 45 minutes away, invest everything she has in a few acers of land, and start a weed farm! - something she has no experience with - and which would completely pull Ava away from her life and support system here... 🤦‍♂️ 🤞 The lawyer calls back soon. Cause I...
  8. J

    Baby mama won't let partner see child post divorce, but ex wife and step mom can

    Given the family dynamics and financial situation at play the only other caregivers in the picture would be Lakes parents and Alexa's parents (who Alexa now lives with). So were Alexa to push back on Cali's offer, Lake would be involved. I expect this behavior of Cali given her history. I am...
  9. J

    Baby mama won't let partner see child post divorce, but ex wife and step mom can

    Thank you for your reply Sept 2020 the divorce was asked for and Ava's time with Alexa and Lake was taken away. They tried to make it work for another month and agreed to split in October. Ava was informed in November. The divorce was finalized in December. Lake got the house in the divorce so...
  10. J

    Baby mama won't let partner see child post divorce, but ex wife and step mom can

    So I am in a messy situation and I am not sure what to do anymore. The relationships are polyamorous but that's mostly just tangentially relevant in all this. The cast; - Lake (32nb) - Me (26m), partner to Lake for 3 years - Alexa - Ex Wife & Step Mom (28f), partner to Lake for 9 years up until...
  11. J

    Polyamory survey

    I agree with the anti-queer bias, it was definitely writen from a het/cis perspective. As well as a distinctive focus on heigheracy. To be fair tho it just asks about the lenght of the longest of your current commited relationships not which is more commited.
  12. J

    Unplanned Pregnancy!?!?

    The sentiment " if I do this (abortion) then you can't complain about it in the future (wanting kids)" speaks to me that you don't want the abortion. But you would do it for him. I would think careful about the motivation behind the request. If it was Ponytail's kid would you want him to have...
  13. J

    Violated ❌❌❌

    Excuse me if I have misunderstood, OP. But are you saying in the second incident, your girlfriend was the perpetrator? Or in all three cases, was it the husband? One of my partners is an uber agressive cuddler in his sleep and is very grabby while not concious. From the incidents as you...
  14. J

    the "one-penis policy" thread

    So my issue with the one penis policy is alot more about the ideas that it tends to spawn from and promote. - women are less threatening - romanic relationships between women are not "real" relationships that could cause jealousy or issues - the OPP oversimplifies gender and Is...
  15. J

    Feeling neglected

    I think he would be willing to hold up his end of the stick if he was able to see then his end of the stick was falling down. However I think he's got his eyes and focus all on school and taking care of himself right now which is where it needs to be. However that does leave me holding the...
  16. J

    Feeling neglected

    I realized I left out some background information. We are Long distance right now but have only been so the past 6 months. The past six months is also the only time I have felt that I am doing 100% of the work. We were living together before we we're long distance and plan to live together...
  17. J

    Feeling neglected

    Hey, so me and my partner Jason have been dating for over two years now. At the moment we are in a long-distance relationship. He plans to move out to me in a month. He has been struggling with his mental health quite a bit lately. This is not a particularly new struggle. However it is...
  18. J

    New and looking for advice on relationship transition

    I think one important aspect to a healthy poly relationship is the ability to trust your partner in the choices they make with time management, as well as being able to trust them with the relationships they choose to develop. It seems like she's not willing/ready / able to give you that...
  19. J

    Sad Revelations and No Clear Path

    You mentioned in your post that co-primary relationship is not something you are looking for and you have expressed that to your girlfriend. I was a bit unclear on what her reaction to that was. Is she comfortable with higher key? Or not pursuing np in a co-primary co- live in life partner...
  20. J

    Looking for answers

    Just a friendly reminder that just wanting a purly sexual relationship with someone is okay as long as you are up front with what you were looking for and both people are on the same page and want the same thing. There is a difference between two consenting adults sharing sex for the purpose of...
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