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Missed that part, sorry to you both.

If she is asexual there is no cause, just as there is no cause for being homosexual. It is insulting and pointless to push sex on anyone that doesn't want sex. Married 41 years to an asexual.

Hi @jeofizz , Have you run into https://www.asexuality.org/en/forum/30-for-sexual-partners-friends-and-allies/ yet? You aren't alone.

Start there anyway. Be up front with this is what you are doing. You may end up with exactly the same terms and that is okay. ETA: Check out R.A.D.A.R. in the Multamory podcast

Poly under duress

Ah, the four options listed in SPFA aren't suggestions to fix the relationship, they're the only paths forward for the sexual person seeking respite from the unfulfilling situation they discover they're in. Celibacy Some kind of compromise An open relationship Break up I don't suggest or...

I try, but that happens mostly in DMs when people really become interested in doing the work. It's but one of the four choices people can make. What opening means is for them to work out. It's actually a rarely-taken path but it is one. I often cite @Magdlyn's suggested read "Opening Up" as a...

Hi @SpMd, you are not alone. AVEN SPFA

BrokenArrow, just wanted to let you know that at least one lurker hears you. You are seen. Fix the bank account today. Consider locking joint credit accounts so they can no longer be used for new purchases.

From: The Difference Between Rules and Boundaries

Stop by AVEN - SPFA, if you haven't found it yet, to meet people in similar situations.

Multiamory has a podcast that might be worth sharing: The Triforce of Communication

Maybe... Well, at this moment you need to know. Work this out. If you find that you know you do not, then follow @Inaniel 's advice.

Hi @Crazy , check out Westover Heights Clinic's Free Resources.

Hi @moncher, I am the poly person in a marriage exactly as you describe. Have you found AVEN? Your questions and concerns are a topic of conversation often. I often contribute in this sub-forum. What you are doing is hard. You are dealing with two incompatibilities: asexual/sexual and...

You might want to check out this forum. Maybe not the same issue but similar enough for ideas. And for sure there are people there that understand where you are coming from.

How does your system work if the women are rich and the men are poor?

That's a great idea. You might consider making these talks regular and add some structure along the lines of what is described here: Multiamory RADAR

I can imagine it has. I'm sure people have tried. If you mean six people where everyone is in every possible relationship - all dyads, all triads, all quads, ... - I can't imagine a relationship structure this complex would be sustainable. But a kitchen table polycule of small star/V dyads -...

That is a good thing. Best leave that in the cool and highly unlikely fantasy space and be surprised if it happens. Stable long-term triads do happen but are really really rare. Have you read The Most Skipped Step When Opening a Relationship?