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What if polyamory is just a means to an end? A specific strategy to meet underlying needs? I understand polyamory can be an orientation, or a way of being, and not "just" a lifestyle choice. I know it is for me. Yet I have chosen to be in a monogamous relationship because I have found...

"If I, instead, focus on the embodied experience of responsiveness and atunement, would this give my partner the security she needs?" True - and I think she can only answer this after she has experiences this, otherwise we're talking about some abstract thing. Agreed - and this has been a...

From the book Polysecure: Secure attachment is an embodied experience based on how we consistenly respond and attune to each other, rather than derived from a relationship structure. This one really got me thinking: I am currently in a monogamous relationship structure to provide security for...

What I also like is the view on NRE - it is something to be enjoyed, be careful not to lose yourself in it, and it is not a solid ground to build a relationship on. How different is this from mainstream culture where infatuation is the holy grail of love.

Although some polyamory theory, rules, skills and experiences exclusively apply to non-monagamous relationships, a lot is good advice for monogamous relationships as well. What are things you learned from polyamory that would help monagamous relationships as well? Here are some examples I find...