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I love being a mother. And I genuinely like my kids. They're all grown now and live in different states. We vacation together at least once per year and visit each other regularly. It is a lifetime commitment. And some periods are extremely rough. And some kids are harder than others. I have...

I agree it would feel unethical to me, too, to take a job and very quickly go out on medical leave. However, if you are able to wait until the end of the school year for a hysterectomy and the insurance plan would cover the medication you need for diabetes, it's not a bad backup plan. I...

While preparing yourself to explore poly with DD, I would also suggest you start considering what coparenting with D through a divorce would look like, too. D has stated that she wants to continue the monogamous relationship that you currently have, not try a new, polyamorus relationship with...

If R doesn't like the idea of sharing the bed in your room because R still feels territorial about it, and doesn't ever sleep in the extra bedroom now that the two of you are together, then another option would be to move R's stuff out of there and make the extra room a room you both use to host...

The thing about negative beliefs about ourselves and the world, is we subconsciously seek out people and experiences that reinforce those beliefs. In doing so, we may actually manifest them and turn them into reality. Ie, I believe I'll never have a boyfriend so I do things that reinforce that...

I, too, am really sorry about Dude. I'm glad you and MrS are healing. And congratulations on the weight loss!!! That is so awesome!!! (And gives me hope for the 20 lbs I gained during covid. I'm down 2 lbs haha.) And, totally awesome that you and Mr Clean are enjoying each other :) I think...

I've been with men who prefer tight vaginas. Sure, they like the tight fit. But, the tightness is never a big issue (just a preference... same as how i prefer dark haired, lean men and curvy women). I would never exclude someone from my dating pool who doesn't fit those profiles. I value the...

This isn't the type of relationship you want to model to your daughter. Even at her young age, she's learning how relationships work by watching you. Teach her how to love and respect herself and others by doing the same. You can create the family you want, but it starts by changing you. Stop...

Your feelings are completely valid. I've been in individual and couples therapy. My personal opinion mirrors much of what others have said. Individual therapy has helped me more in my relationships than couples therapy. If you do both, it's a good idea to have a different therapist for both, for...

Evie, I hope you wake feeling refreshed, with more spoons than yesterday, and the sadness doesn't linger.

I agree with Gala. If it's just an overnight or a weekend away, I prefer no calls unless there's an emergency. The occasional quick text is fine. If a partner wants me to call while on my weekend away with someone else, I'll arrange a set time for a quick 5 minute check in call. I agree with...

I'm sorry that happened, Evie. It does sound like it may be kinder if they would break up. I had a similar issue with Blue this weekend on my date night. The date still happened but about an hour of our time was spent dealing with meta which impacted the quality of the date. His hinge skills...

That's what I assumed when I voted. I've done group chats with a partner and meta before. I voted no and we do not live together. Experience has taught me that I only want to do group chats if the hinge has good hinge skills and if I get along well with my meta. Ironically, for me, group chats...

I have no experience opening a previously monogamous relationship so take what I say with a grain of salt. I did, however, come from a background of strict monogamy. When I started dating a man who is poly, years ago, it still required all the usual deprogramming and learning to sit with and...

My experience with jealousy is that, if my needs are being met, my partner and I are communicating effectively, and I have agency in my relationships, then I'm much less likely to feel jealous. In fact, I will frequently even feel compersion for my partner. Even in a healthy relationship, I can...

I love the outer banks! I hope you have a wonderful trip :)

My advice is therapy for both of you. If she's unwilling to go, go alone. Preferably with a sex positive, poly friendly therapist. It's unfair and unrealistic of her to drop the poly bomb, immediately start another relationship, and then expect you to just adjust. She is being incredibly selfish.

Your problem isn't with his affair partner (and to be clear, that's what they are since neither you nor her husband consented to their relationship.) Your problem is with your partner... he is the one that you made agreements with, not the woman he's cheating with. You feel betrayed and...

It looks awesome! Post a pic when you're all dressed up? :)

Honestly, it sounds like he could be an alcoholic. If he is an alcoholic, the unacceptable behaviors are unlikely to stop until he gets help for the drinking. (My ex husband is an alcoholic/addict.)