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I came on board about a week ago, http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3056 My situation was about 2 specific girls. Well I talked to the one tonight and showed her a couple of poly FAQ links. Not only NO but HELL NO and lots of other not fun conversations. Thank you for all the...

oooppps I guess I need to read better :eek: It does say four doesnt it.

The question you has posed to me was basically how would/will I feel if the girls want to find other guys to date. I said I was slightly uncomfortable about it and I needed to figure out why. The quote was how I have reacted in the past, but have not put a lot of thought into why. My point...

I just did that. It only showed 4 threads though.

Well that just seems way to simple ;) It makes sense though, just not the way a lot of people think. I guess I feel that if I asked my GF to do that then she would think I was not over my ex (which is true) and put her in a weird spot. If I asked my ex to do that that I would be rubbing the...

Very good point. As I said still trying to learn all I can before I decide if this is right. Just trying to ask as many questions as I can think of and gain whatever kind of input I can.

So I have been researching the poly life. Not sure if it is right for me/us so I am doing as much research as I can so I will have the answers when the girls ask. So I am 35m, GF is 32, and the 3rd is 31yof. It sounds like the most likely situation would be a vee with me on the bottom and...

This is great advice. Still leaves me with some questions though. If they knew each other I think this part would be easier, or I would have a better clue if it might work. I know they are going to have to be friends for this to work the way I hope it would. I guess a better question is how...

I know I have said thank you a lot but I am here to learn all I can. I sure am learning and been given to lots of thinking which leads to more questions. Make sense. I dont see those 2 having any kind of sexual relationship nor would I push for it, not my real goal, or even a goal. They...

That might be where my thinking is wrong on this. I know Poly is not a fix for problems. For lack of a better phrase me and my ex brought out the "worst" in each other. We never had big fights over stuff, which I know some people say is not good. For me I just always felt like there was a...

Very interesting point here. That is some of what I am trying to learn about myself. I have lots of ex's that are just that. When I was done with the relationship it was over. No looking back or wondering. With this ex I can never quite give her up, but we have tried and tried to make it...

Thank you. I have read a lot of the other stuff you have wrote on this site and it helps. I am usually a spontaneous, jump on it right away cause it feels good now kinda guy. From reading this site I have found I need to slow down and look at all sides of things if I really want something...

See and in a weird way I had mentioned in another thread that is how I felt when I cheated. I was getting getting something that made me happy, but only for a short while, which in a way made things better at home cause I was happier. I know it is not right nor what I really want, but that is...

Thank you all so much for the help so far. As I have said I dont want to jump into anything without deciding what it is that I really want and need. Then once I figure that out then I can do something with it. I know this is not an overnight process. I have learned a lot in the last few...

Well obviously my concern is that if the ex is not into the Poly life then why potentially mess things up with the GF. For me it is about these 2 girls not looking for another. If it was about just adding another then it would be the GF that I talk to first.

So after recently finding I might be Poly, http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3056 I have some more questions. After reading a bunch on this site I am not sure I am going at this in a way that would work. It sounds like most start from a couple that decide to add a 3rd (or more)...

Thank you for the encouragement. I am reading all I can on here (the only forum I registered on) and any thing else I can on web search. I am researching as much as I can before I find out if this might be right for me and if it is what I really want. I think I know a guy who is Poly as...

Thank you for your reply. I am not sure if I read wrong or not, or you read me wrong. I want to have a serious relationship with both of these girls WITHOUT lie, sneaking, cheating. That is what I learned about poly the other night that is about truth and loving not just multi casual sex...

I understand that I would need to talk to both of them and see where they stand. I am here looking to find out more about Poly, how it works, how to approach it, how make it work for all people involved. This is very new to me and if I am going to approach them I need to understand what I am...

It is kinda nice that this forum has a section for new people. I know it gets old answering similar questions over and over so thanks for you time in reading and answering this. I will keep it semi brief as I know how hard it can be to read though a book on forums. I will give more details if...