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  1. I

    Meeting the 'metamour'

    I second food/drink, and probably a "thanks for having me over" type comment. When someone I am already not sure about for whatever reason tries to gift me or my children things, it does feel like they are trying to buy friendship. This does not change when it is a meta I am not especially fond...
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    Woooo, voluntaryism! No, I don't have anything productive to say, other than hello, from a...

    Woooo, voluntaryism! No, I don't have anything productive to say, other than hello, from a voluntaryist.
  3. I

    Partners Getting Along

    "I expect you to socialize with my other partners" would be a deal-breaker for me. I wouldn't do that to my partner (and I don't; I have close friends he dislikes, so I don't invite them around him), and I expect the same respect for my autonomy. I really like one of my metas. I choose to spend...
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    my assumptions, his assumptions, never voiced - now voiced and conflict

    "Everyone is different" has been covered, I think, so I'm just going to share a bit of my mono-dating-poly journey (which others may remember had a horrific start, but good patches). We tried a date-day, and it went terrible. Unless we were out and about, it's like he just did not have the...
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    Any experience with handling jealous partners?

    30 minutes. lol. There are times when my partner is with one of his other partners that I won't get a response for eight hours. I'm not saying 8 hours is a goal to shoot for, but you should probably let that partner know that you are not always going to be available to answer a text immediately...
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    TTC + new love interest, lots of emotions..

    For optimal sanity? One or the other. Not both at once. If he is set on pursuing this interest, then I agree with GalaGirl. Settle first, baby later, IF you are willing to wait. Depending on how old you are, though, the longer you wait, harder it can to be conceive. I have been in the place...
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    BF is vanilla with me, sub to his other GF. Need some perspective

    Kink aside, what is the dynamic like in your relationship? Are you fairly equal or is one of you more dominant, just not.. Dominant? If that makes sense. I wonder if you're making a subconscious comparison and that seeing he is owned by her gives you the feeling on some level that she is...
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    yup. still frustrated :'(

    Sounds to me like she's worried about getting dropped. She sounds insecure, like if she thinks your husband thinks you two don't get along, he'll break up with her. I would be surprised if she doesn't change a bit of her behavior regarding that now, having been called out on lying about talking...
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    Mono/Non-Mono - Struggling to Accept

    You might ask her specifically about that. Find out if it's really just a joke she likes to bring up with you, or if there's a grain of truth behind it and perhaps she fantasizes about such a situation on occasion.
  10. I

    Recently opened the marriage - not sure if I should act on it

    You all ready have potential feels, and this is someone you want to see more than once. Acting on it breaks rule 3. That said, rules 1 and 3 rarely work, if ever. You don't have to hear about it every time someone is going out, you don't have to discuss your partners, but DADT can put up some...
  11. I

    to be frustrated or not to be frustrated

    Agreed. If she doesn't want to talk, why push her? Unless she's trying to cowgirl him, I don't see the issue. The only thing you really NEED to be able to communicate to her about is if there's an emergency involving your partner, and since you have her number, that shouldn't be an issue. Now...
  12. I

    Let's talk metamours

    I distinctly remember that 38 figure, too. What the heck?
  13. I

    First steps in polyamory and talking with someone new about it

    Never too soon, imo. Better to get it out of the way asap than to wait until there are strong feelings but a different dynamic desired by each. Can lead to a lot of hurt. If you're not sure exactly what you want, then say that, outline what you'd like to try, and be clear about what you know...
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    Let's talk metamours

    I refer to my metamours by astrological sign because that is how I first heard them referred to. I like the kind of metamour relationship I have with Sagittarius. We've become friends, talk almost daily, and hang out even without our mutual partner. Living together may be in or future. I...
  15. I

    i need help

    Your wife sounds controlling and manipulative, as well as unreasonable. Do you really want to mend a relationship with someone that treats you like a dog and doesn't seem to care about the relationship between the two of you? That's not a healthy dynamic. Might do you good to think on it a...
  16. I

    A lack of consulting others

    Do you feel like you are approachable about problems? I ask, because I have previously been told that I am not. That people worry about how I will respond, and would rather avoid it altogether. They don't want confrontation, sometimes to the point that they'd rather cut ties than talk about...
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    Is it OK to ask my partner to request that metamour not interrupt our time together?

    I occasionally have this problem with my partner. And that's just it; it's a problem with my partner. He's the one who decides whether or not to answer his messages or calls. Express to C that he needs to be more present when that happens. If he can't let her first message go unanswered, he...
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    Am I Being Unreasonable?

    Agreeing with it being a bit unreasonable. What is the need to notify you of him having sex with this person just the two of them when he had sex with said person the day before in a 3-some? He's already had sex with them. What is the issue with doing it again the next day without notifying...
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    New poly-relationship has me in crisis!

    Second PinkPig on not trying to mimic an extrovert yourself. My partner has 3 serious girlfriends. 2 introverts, including myself, and 1 extrovert. He and I stay in a lot, watch movies, occasionally do our shopping together, go someplace quiet to eat, etc. He and the extrovert go out and do...
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    Did I overstep our boundaries?

    There's some post I recall reading on tumblr or something about why a girl doesn't tell a guy she has a boyfriend to get the guy to respect her 'no' when he doesn't just take that she's not interested as an answer. Like the fact that she has a boyfriend must be why she's not interested. To me...
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