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Poly Movies Bookmark www.theinnbetween.net/polymovies.html for a growing list of poly movies that I have personally watched & verified for poly content and http://joreth.livejournal.com/tag/reviews%20(movies) to read my reviews of each movie (plus a few that don't make the list) I will be...

It was suggested that I link to my reason for leaving this forum, to my post that got blocked because some feel it needs to be heard, and that I make this post here because personal blogs are less likely to get moderated and blocked, since it's a personal blog. You can read it at my LJ at...

**continued** You can't make a person be more respectful or make someone love you. If a person is disrespectful or doesn't love you, your rules mean nothing to them because they are disrespectful or don't love you. If someone is respectful or loves you, your rules are unnecessary because they...

The fact is that some relationships/households really DO have those motivations, therefore, it's not off the mark. If he said everyone who ever took a new partner while already partnered always did this for these reasons, he'd be wrong. But he didn't say that, he addressed those relationships...

**continued** This is not the same topic as defining boundaries and priorities. For example, when two monogamous people begin dating each other, they do not hand each other keys to their houses on the first date. They do not exchange bank routing numbers, they do not give each other full and...

I think that's some pretty awesome magic you have to be able to prescript your family so that absolutely nothing can come along and change things. I'd love to be able to stop that speeding semi-truck that killed a friend of mine on the way to Disneyland for his birthday. Pretty fucked up...

That would be the difference between prescribing and describing a relationship. Describing the relationship AS IS is saying "At this moment in time, we are casual FWBs, with limited emotional entanglement." Prescribing is saying "From this point forward, the relationship will be casual FWBs with...

continued from previous post For instance, the clause on breaking dates was put in there because he didn't actually realize that breaking a date was hurtful to the person you broke the date with. So that had to be spelled out, and all the possible exceptions for when breaking a date is...

Cisare: The "contract" was not intended to be an actual contract to be signed and used among all partners, written by me and imposed on other relationships that I am not a part of. It was meant to be a conversation starter, to address those points that many people assume everyone has the same...

But we're not talking about water wings in the pool before you learn to swim, or training wheels on a bike, or learning simple math before tackling calculus. We're talking about holding onto a concrete block because you're afraid of the ocean. The method of using the type of rules that Ceoli is...

I don't want to have to say, "I don't like the shades of blue that fit within the temperature spectrum of 480 to 509, but the blues smaller than 480 are OK" every time a sentence calls for me to repeat the subject noun, so from now on, when I say "blue," that's what I mean. Ceoli has already...

It's funny that you should say that, as it's not the first time I've seen that, not even in these forums. Although it is no guarantee that just because a lot of people are doing something, it must be right (and I'm sure we can all think of plenty of examples where it most decidedly isn't), if...

Here's where I see the distinction, because a single mono parent is a great analogy. In order to make the single-mono-parent situation similar to the types of restrictions Ceoli is talking about, this would be like the single parent telling a prospective new dating partner, "Look, I have kids...

As I said in an earlier post, which apparently was not read, the reason why many of us have the current communication style is because it is what has worked most of the time, in our experience. Being "always assumed" in this case, is happening here, in this forum, by the same people, when...

I've tried that, which was the point of my anecdote about my mother. When someone wants to assume I have the worst intentions, even an explicit apology is not heard. Frankly, I'm getting a little annoyed at always being assumed to have the worst intentions in my writing. I do not feel as though...

Just to clarify, since we're now discussing communication techniques in the context of online forums, I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm certainly not new to online forms - just this one. I've been online since the old BBS and IRC days. I don't find it "hard to be open", I just don't...

I'm glad you were finally able to take something away from my posts, Redpepper. But I would like to suggest that, if you take a look at my word use, other than the anecdote, I am still using the same words, same grammar, same speech pattern. The only difference is that I used a personal...

It is not possible for every individual here to know what everyone else will read into their words. Many people develop the language use that they do because it has been effective in their interactions so far. So what one person feels is not compassionate, others will not read that way. And the...

Derby: When it comes to things like time contraints, which are a very real limitation on relationships, I try to find out if the upset over the time conflict is because it's a RELATIONSHIP that makes it upsetting, or if someone would be equally unhappy if the same time conflict was caused by a...

SeventhCrow & YGirl both have it spot-on in their analysis of my intent. This is not about YOU, Cisare. You used your experience with a live-in situation as an analogy. (I understand that it wasn't hypothetical, but it was still an analogy.) I expanded the analogy even further. The "been...