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No worries. Not like this thread was in it's prime. In case you didn't read this through into the next thread, let me drop a few spoilers.... My whole marriage went off the rails, things got real ugly, long drawn out divorce, and now every couple of weeks I get long texted wild personal attacks...

Arguably better. Spitfire and I are getting a divorce, I'm living back with Jason, I have a new therapist, and I've made new friends. Spitfire and I tried to make things work. Everything just kept escalating, until finally she said she wanted a divorce and I agreed. Later she realized that...

So, a lot has changed in a week. My life is a fucking crazy rollercoaster of emotions and events. Spitfire is autistic. I've known this, but had not done the right kind of research. Mostly it was about what we needed to do to improve quality of life. I did a little more research and realized...

I've been working through this thought recently. Spitfire and I spoke the other night. By spoke, I mean she was too sick to go to Bashir's on the night I was watching the kids, so she stayed home and had it out with me about some things. Toward the end, we cleared up some of our communication...

I went to marriage counseling today. I still felt like the asshole, but Spitfire and I both got triggered. She roared up and I piped down. Dude was like, "Yeah. It's a good thing you are separated for now." The takeaway is that for Spitfire and me to ever stand a snowball's chance in hell, I...

Thanks GG. I keep finding myself slipping back to: Maybe it's not abuse. Maybe I'm just over-exaggerating things in my head. Then my brain keeps reminding me of all the hurt. But I don't know what to believe. You're right. I'm extremely isolated. I can't talk about it with anyone from work. I...

Yesterday was a good day. Work was extra long but I was very busy so I didn't have to worry about it. Then I came home to Jason and we put joint compound over masking tape on his half-wall and peeled it off before it was fully dry to make a brick pattern. It looks great! then we went to bed...

Deny Attack Reverse Victim and Offender. Holy shit! This has literally been my whole marriage. I was telling her yesterday that every time I tell her she's hurting me she tells me my feelings are wrong and gets super pissed. I asked if she knew what it was like to always wind up apologizing for...

Thank you, everybody, for the kind (and sometimes blunt) words and support. Between this, therapy and some outside research I feel like I can extrapolate some sort of direction to head in when I feel like I can't trust my own head. I'm at home with the kids for the weekend. Spitfire and I talked...

Yesterday I went to therapy. I had been up all night after my last post. I hadn't eaten in about a day. I was teetering on the edge of a breakdown. I got showered and dressed for work around 3am. I realize if I can't sleep by that point I need to be dressed and ready in case I fall asleep and...

Sorry, I missed this line. Thank you. It is received kindly.

"I'm scared I'm the one who's toxic." "I'm scared I'm being abused and not seeing it" "I'm scared of what it would mean if I was" I do have my own therapist apart from the marriage counselor. The marriage counselor told me I had a lot of work to do on myself to get to where Spitfire's at. Part...

I can't believe that. I have to believe we can do better. This can get better with time, communication and work. If we get a divorce, I can't keep the kids. I'd be setting them on the same road to abandonment I've been walking my whole life. "It doesn't matter why dad is gone, he just left us."...

What do I even do? I feel like everytime she does something that hurts me I'm the asshole. Am I the asshole? I don't even know. I feel like I'm not allowed to feel how I'm feeling. I feel like every time I need reassurance all I get is scorn. When is it ok for me to need something? Is it not...

And we exploded. I wanted to have a nice night. I wanted to seduce her. i wanted her to look at me with those eyes in the heat of passion and show me I can make her happy. Instead we yelled at each other a bunch and I feel like there's no point in going on with it. Our youngest was home with...

Had kind of a rough patch yesterday. Spitfire was staying at Bashir's. I had the day off so she said she was going to take advantage of that to sleep in then she'd head home. She asked if she had to rush back and I didn't see any reason she should have to. She took that to mean it was cool if...

Dude, I hear you. My early 20's were a fucking nightmare. I bounced back and forth quite a bit. Eventually decided to marry a woman. Polyamory came up and I saw it as a solution to that particular problem. It can come with a lot of fucking baggage but it can also be really fucking great. You...

Thanks! It's really tough but ultimately, if I get past all my hangups, I get to have it all and my whole family will be better for it. Sorry things didn't work out for you and your ex. There's kind of a high stakes learning curve at times. Definitely did not take the easy route down Lifestyle...

Hello again! Don't mind me. Just going through some stuff and felt the best way to deal with it is to pour my deeply personal issues onto an anonymous public forum.... So things aren't going so great. Bashir (I had to dig back to page 2 to remember what I was calling him) came back into...

Decided to creep the boards and saw this. I also see it's been a few months. How are you doing Nom? Poly is rough when you aren't expecting it and suddenly there it is in your face. Been there. Also, with the therapist, keep calling and checking availability. People cancel appointments all the...