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  1. SchrodingersCat

    Poly Island

    Integration now! Segregation never! I'm 100% against poly separatism. Some of my best friends are monogamous. If you want to surround yourself with polyfolk, plenty of communes out there where it's the rule not the exception. Plus you'll get to become a steward of the environment, so that's a...
  2. SchrodingersCat

    Recipe for disaster?

    Eventually it would be awesome to get yourself to the place where you can do self-care for your own sake because you deserve it. But in the meantime, would it be helpful to know that you can't be of proper service to anyone if you're not taking care of yourself? If not for yourself then for your...
  3. SchrodingersCat

    Wanting Polyandry dilemma

    Something that comes up for me reading Mag's response about carrying DH's feelings... It seems like you're caretaking DH by not telling him things that might trigger his anxiety, and stressing about how you present things you do tell him. I wonder, does that make it easier for DH to choose not...
  4. SchrodingersCat

    Love from a poly person isn’t worth as much?

    Could be because he fell in love at first sight, could also be because he's insecure and that pursuing someone and convincing her to date him despite her reluctance boosts his fragile ego. *Some* other regular members. There are as many poly dynamics in this forum as there are members. It...
  5. SchrodingersCat

    Love from a poly person isn’t worth as much?

    It sounds to me like you value knowing that your partner loves you in a special way that they don't share with anyone else; that if your partner's love is shared, it loses a quality of "specialness" that's important for you. There's no shame in being monogamous-leaning and wanting a partner who...
  6. SchrodingersCat

    Love from a poly person isn’t worth as much?

    I disagree. Facts are objective, feelings are subjective or interpretive. "My stomach muscles are tightening and my heart is beating faster than usual" is a fact that might be interpreted either as "I feel scared" or "I feel excited." Also, people often misuse the word "feelings" to refer to...
  7. SchrodingersCat

    Mental Health

    I've been thinking a lot about mental health issues over the past couple years. Sometimes I wonder if the way we label these people doesn't just make it worse. I believe very strongly in the power of manifestation / law of attraction, and by that logic, the best way to make someone act crazy is...
  8. SchrodingersCat

    Contraceptive advise

    I have Mirena and it's been awesome for me. A bit of spotting a few times a year, otherwise basically no bleeding. It's got hormone though, but only in the uterus not system-wide. But as mentioned above, non-hormonal IUDs may also be possible. I've heard some horror stories about punctured...
  9. SchrodingersCat

    Nearing a decade (duck egg?)

    LoL, I guess I dabbled in usenet (I loved rec.arts.bodyart) but most of my first real "talking to people on the internet" was IRC when I was a teenager in the 90's, so instant gratification has always seemed fairly reasonable to me too :P
  10. SchrodingersCat

    LSB Weight Loss Daily Goals and Accomplishments

    My goal is a moving target. I try to aim for 10-15 lbs at a time, and then re-evaluate when I hit that and see how I look and feel. Losing a lot of weight makes it hard to pin down a goal, because you start to have extra skin that people who were never fat don't have, and it's supposed to...
  11. SchrodingersCat

    Nearing a decade (duck egg?)

    I hear ya! There were some really good debates and discussions on polyamory as an abstract concept. Since then, I think it's gained some more acceptance in alternative society and there's been less to hash out. Now it seems to mostly be people with their own specific challenges looking for...
  12. SchrodingersCat

    Ex's desire to try poly amorous

    Yeah, this whole "emotionally independent" thing sounds very weird to me too. I can understand "I don't need to be in a relationship, I'm happy being single." That's fine. Healthy even. But being human means having emotions and inevitably your emotions will be affected by other humans. It...
  13. SchrodingersCat

    Nearing a decade (duck egg?)

    Hmm, I'm at about 8 years, but most of my 2465 posts were in the first couple years. I can only imagine what my statistics would be if I were more consistent!
  14. SchrodingersCat

    Expected to hang out with metamour(s)

    It wasn't my intention for you to feel judged and I'm sorry if my words came across as an attack on your character. You posed the thread question in terms of how much time you should be expected to spend with your metamour, but your examples are more about how often you and your metamour may...
  15. SchrodingersCat

    Feeling Empty

    I'm seeing a pattern of unfulfilled expectations. You want these guys to behave the way you expect without having to tell them. That's all fine and dandy if you happen to meet someone who already behaves the way you expect (e.g. you and Luna and Teal would be great partners together in terms of...
  16. SchrodingersCat

    Tell me about your experience being or having a secondary?

    People accept secondary status all the time without labelling it... Anyone in a relationship with a single mom is secondary to her kids. Anyone married to a farmer is secondary to planting and harvest. Anyone in a relationship with an activist is secondary to the cause. Anyone in a relationship...
  17. SchrodingersCat

    did i do the right thing? i'm so confused right now

    "A reason, a season, or a lifetime." Usually said of friendships, but applies equally well to romantic relationships. Some people are saying "Can you be monogamous with this person for 5, 10, 50 years?" My question is: What guarantee does anyone have that any relationship is going to last 1...
  18. SchrodingersCat

    Expected to hang out with metamour(s)

    One of the fundamental principles of tantra as an ancient Eastern practice is learning to accept reality as it is, not as you'd like it to be, and sitting with discomfort in order to go through it instead of avoiding it. With practice, the uncomfortable things become more and more tolerable...
  19. SchrodingersCat

    information to start a commune

    lol yeah, I'm pretty sure the baby thing will always be in the fantasy realm, and I'm 10000% ok with that! I'm a dreamer.
  20. SchrodingersCat

    information to start a commune

    <3 <3 <3 OMG I did not know that site existed!! Squeeee!! I'm not actually interested in living in a specifically poly community, but I find that most of the circles I'm comfortable in tend to be less mononormative. I've been craving more community in my life. I'm leaning towards the...
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