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  1. M

    What is the line between being selfish and communicating your needs?

    Kudos on being able to find a food analogy to make your point in any given situation. However one side effect is that you do seem to have a habit of making me hungry/thirsty.
  2. M

    Reaping what I've sown

    I don't think it's unreasonable...have you explained that you're not trying to interfere, you just want to meet him in order to feel more comfortable about the situation? He's probably worried that you might be aggressive, or difficult with him etc. If he knows that this isn't your aim, that...
  3. M

    Reaping what I've sown

    You speak a shitload of sense here...I like it.
  4. M

    Reaping what I've sown

    I don't think there's anything wrong in asking for what you need. My question would be, why do you feel you need communication with him? Is it to help you feel more comfortable about the whole situation, or is it something else?
  5. M

    Ex wants to talk...

    Wow...I don't think I could even allow those words to leave my mouth, due to the ridiculous levels of internal shame I would experience as a result.
  6. M

    OKC and Poly Relationships

    Sounds like a fun date ;)
  7. M

    Am I ever going to find someone?

    Cats are awesome. You don't need anything else ;)
  8. M

    Do the old rules apply?

    Some guys will be uncomfortable, but you have to ask yourself if you would be interested in a man who's intimidated by a woman approaching him. If you turn the question around and say 'would you be uncomfortable with a man approaching you?'...I imagine you would say that it depends on the man...
  9. M

    From Poly Theory to Poly Practice (Help!)

    You did a good job with your first attempt at quoting - you should be very proud ;) Anyway I agree with this and I would say that this extends way beyond poly. This is just common decency - whether he was with a girl or not, even if he got drunk and stayed with a guy friend on his sofa, you'd...
  10. M

    Wow

    Passive aggressive much?
  11. M

    Wow

    Sorry, but that argument doesn't wash. You can't say 'but the tonality in my head was nice as pie' when all I have to go on is your words on a screen. If someone says 'what the fuck are you talking about?', that is not a calm, relaxed friendly tone. But don't worry about looking if you can...
  12. M

    Wow

    I thought the reply from SoL was balanced and fair, and didn't point fingers of blame. It certainly wasn't 'snotty' or 'holier than thou'. The reaction you're showing is ironic - you expect to be able to post up when you think people are wrong, and do it in the most direct, least compassionate...
  13. M

    Wow

    You are mistaken. It's almost as if you think that if you don't act like the person you're talking to is a total moron, then the message won't get through. Yes, if you think that they are wrong, it's fine to say so...but you have a choice whether you do it respectfully, or whether you take the...
  14. M

    Can you die from fear?

    Nah it's cool...as you say, honesty can be dangerous for a relationship if the honesty discloses something that fundamentally goes against the values/beliefs of the other person. Of course that doesn't mean that honesty isn't still the best policy.
  15. M

    Wow

    Way to go guys. Show how super smart and superior you all are by making fun of another new person who comes in asking for help. Offer your advice in the most patronising, demeaning 'I'm smart and you're stupid' way possible...then when the person objects to being spoken to like that, say 'hey...
  16. M

    Can you die from fear?

    You can't get more truthful than to say that the relationship cannot be the same again. And yes, in these situations there is a very real risk of the relationship ending if one party wants to go in one direction and the other wants to go a different way.
  17. M

    Can you die from fear?

    It's a tricky one...it's like opening a door that can never be closed. Even if he agreed not to ever mention it again and that the subject was dead...it would still be there in your head for the rest of your relationship. Regardless of where you take things from here, I don't see how things...
  18. M

    Wow

    Private message. If you click on a person's babe you'll see the option there.
  19. M

    Wow

    I'm with you OP. I'm afraid this can be a very judgemental place and there are certain characters whose only point in life seems to be to demonstrate how smart they are and how stupid you are. There are some great folks too, but I mainly communicate with them via PM. Actually that's about...
  20. M

    Online Dating… OKCupid... what a trip. What works for you?

    THANKS for putting the IMPORTANT BITS in CAPS to make it EASIER for us slow types to UNDERSTAND. You're the BEST, BG. As it happens, what I'm talking about is not the same as someone disliking CATS and trying to CONVINCE them that cats are GREAT. I'M talking about the SITUATION where a person...
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