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anyway, I am in a solid partnership with a remarkable woman and we've talked at length about non-monogamy and polyamory in the past few years and began our adventure together explicitly acknowledging that we were not interested in an exclusive dyad or in doing things in any way "the way we had...

Hello! I was active here in the spring of 2010 for a blip-- Looking back over my posts I'm totally mortified at what a know-it-all self-serious patronizing earnest self-absorbed persona I had in most of my posts. haha. Lots of humbling experiences since then. Anyway, I'm glad the forum is...

I think it's great this turned into a 5 page thread. The tampon/pad industry in the US makes a ton of profit basically extorting money from women every month and the whole scheme creates a huge amount of waste. My last SO used one of the cups from Kukuppi in combination with washable cloth...

Male, straight. Immaterial

Wanting Wanting It seems inevitable that what arises between two people in dynamic relating is this exchange of wanting and being wanted, the trading of top and bottom, the either slight or greatly exaggerated power imbalance. More romantically, the trading of lover and beloved. These whirling...

This is culturally crucial stuff, outlined in the article and this thread. Political and cultural power is often wielded by people of all persuasions precisely along these crap science, "biologically wired" lines. Flimsy, sensationalistic science is a pet peeve of mine, too, and sadly a great...

This reminds me of the "New Monogamy" that Tammy Nelson was writing about that oddly involves fucking other people, in other words, is not monogamy. Immaterial

Secrets have energy. What people are looking for is not love, but distraction. A shame-based, mixed message culture encourages duplicitous behavior. For me, cheating has always equalled simple misery, but I admit, before the fact and act, it had an allure. The excitement of a lie. Lies do have...

Athena, you are well-named. :-) My favorite avatar here is also one of the sexiest. But then, I am a thoroughly sex-positive slut. Immaterial

Hello to all of my new friends and acquaintances here. I have missed the conversation. But all of my activities have migrated over into meatspace, lately, with some NRE and a lot of change and growth. There are interesting experiences where we know someone for a great many years in one way and...

I am entirely ink and piercing free. But I do love the entire body mod and body art thing. It just was not in style when I was the right age for it. Now, I don't really have the right canvas, I don't think. I am crushing pretty hard on a young woman who is covered with tats, piercings, etc. I...

Nymphs, it is offensive to hear from people who have children that not having them is "missing out" on something. I really tire of the cultural pressure to have children and the tyranny, really, of people with children. I am currently traveling and camping, using a public coffee shop to access...

I'm currently on a 10-day visit to a town where I lived, on and off, for 25 years. I have had several sexual relationships in this town, many jobs, many friendships, and two marriages and divorces. In many ways, this place really feels like my home town, even though it is 2000 miles from where I...

Yes, I agree the double standard regarding marriage is quite hypocritical. Funny that the "Defense of Marriage" laws are always proposed and voted on by so many confirmed philanderers. :-) I have enjoyed everyone's perspective on unconditional love. I continue to meditate on how I can live from...

I like the comments too and I like Vandalin's very simple set of examples. I used to know women who loved their sons to their dying breath, with every molecule in their bodies, in spite of their son being a rapist, unregenerate heroin addict criminal, etc. This is one of the amazing forms of...

It's not a gross, dark side of you, it's just the urgency of sexual desire. Combined with that Aries impatience. :-) My further two cents: I would have an open, frank discussion with her. I don't see the harm. I think it would help clear a lot of murk. but again, what do I know? so go with...

What I meant to communicate in my other message was a sense that you were expecting sexual behavior from this woman but not really just giving her the space to find her own way. It was this atmosphere of pressure and frustration that felt harassing to me. You seem intent to label her resistance...

Sometimes things instantly get put into perspective. A text I received last night from another alcoholic: "Terrible news about Steve. Hope you are well, call me if you need to talk." I was thrown for a second. Steve? News? Huh? Then I remembered an acquaintance of mine who had been around AA...

The purpose of the "good Peter/bad Peter" part of my post was not in the least to blame dear old mom for my troubles, haha. She loved me with her level best and is completely off the hook, free and clear of any blame. The point was to look for the root of shame bound behavior. Whether or not...

Mono asked in a separate thread what I mean when I say "unconditional love." I am continuously learning more about this liberating truth for myself, so forgive me if my thoughts here don't make much sense. I keep thinking of it as BIG LOVE. It's this great ocean of love that doesn't have any...