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There's a woman I've been curious about at several AA meetings and we've been friendly during conversations before and after. I vaguely sensed at various times that she's been going through a rough patch. She's got essentially two personalities: a very cheerful, extroverted and energetic...

I may have missed a thread or two addressing this; if so, pardon me. I have no intention of opening up a big can of worms. (Do worms even come in cans?) I got into a terrible flame war once several years ago with a guy who ran a swingers' club. I had never really looked into it before this...

Brave soul! I read what you are saying as a journey for you into unconditional love, the best and the most difficult, IMO. I am a strong believer in meeting all involved parties. I think it would lend clarity. It may remove some of your jealousy that is based only on imaginings. It may...

It sounds like your husband loves you very much indeed and was fairly courageous to risk that by bringing up his interest in another woman and his desire to have a relationship of some sort with her. One warning sign in your post is your comparison to the other woman and the impact this has had...

Mono, my sense is she includes that sentiment because her values are that, even if one's impulses are non-monogamous or poly, one should still consciously choose monogamy. Because she clearly states she believes monogamy is "the better choice" for our species. I posted a comment on her blog...

Wow, fascinating article. The "new monogamy" sounds suspiciously similar to forms of polyamory. haha. "Within the new notion of monogamy, each partner assumes that the other is, and will remain, the main attachment, but that outside attachments of one kind or another are allowed--as long as...

Desire is a beautiful thing, IMO, even if it warps our sense of perspective. I am a fool for sex, though. I like it. Immaterial

Mono, the "weak, cuckolded guy" syndrome that Monaural expresses reservations about and you acknowledge in a separate thread is a symptom of the sickness that I'm talking about. Just one of many. I envy your world if it's really all orgasms and daisies. You are correct that I have had many...

This thread is a real teaser. I really want to know what Marksbabygirl reacts to so strongly. I know, I have bad boundaries. But my dad and I aren't having sex anymore, so that's progress. Immaterial

I do deeply appreciate the idea that relationship and love actually resides on a level beyond the label or the definition. My authentic experience includes loving many and always has, including most of my exes. I am in fact still "in love" (whatever that means) with several exes. There has been...

Compersion only began to seem possible in my heart when I decided I wanted to learn how to love unconditionally. I was weary of loving on conditions. I want a bigger love than that. This doesn't have anything to do with monogamy or polyamory; it's just a desire I have. I want to be able to love...

welcome, look forward to hearing more. sounds like things could quickly get interesting where you are. :-) Immaterial

@Eskimo: I know precisely what you mean. I have had very uplifting short term sexual experiences. Very soul cleansing, mood brightening, releasing, trusting experiences. Love shows up in unexpected encounters. Superjast, I share Ceoli's question. I am feeling particularly dense at nearly 2 am...

Child free, relationship free, completely free. At the moment. It sure is simple. :-) Immaterial

A point of clarification: by "negative definition" in my other post on my blog and here, I meant the rhetorical device whereby one defines a term by outlining what is excluded from it, by what it is not. A "negative definition" is not necessarily a definition of a term that is pejorative. I have...

Erato's thread, "Please Help Me Understand Monogamy" http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3203, along with a few other comments here and there all over the forum, got me thinking about monogamy yesterday. I posted to my blog here some comments on a negative definition of monogamy that...

Wait, do you understand monogamy now? :)

Sign of intelligent discourse: brain pain. :-) I think it's a dead end to ascribe character defects to people based on their sexual behavior, except for the most extreme of examples. As a friend of mine would say, "watch the movie with the sound off." Sexual behavior in general that is...

I talked with my 18-year old former student friend again tonight. We talked extensively about sexual and seductive power. She reminded me that she always dressed very conservatively at school, downplayed her make up, the high heels, the whole bit. I have seen her outside of school so many times...

It does seem somehow that HMA's basic argument, that casual sex is not in and of itself harmful, but that there are people who harm each other sexually through other means, got lost in the shuffle here. HMA, my apologies if I misinterpret what you are trying to say. Let's say that sexual...