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Thank you all for the replies. They have confirmed what I was thinking as well. One of the harder aspects of relationships in general stem from my codependency and not trusting my own principles and values because often I am overly sensitive or perceive “signs” of problems when it isn’t the...

So many helpful responses to my original post. I am deeply appreciative of your time and the insights you shared. I will try to answer the questions all at once. Relationship dynamic Wife and I had met L and gone on dates with her all together several times over the period of about a year...

My wife and I started dating a woman together. She has a lot of experience with polyamory and in leadership in my local poly Meetup group. I started falling for her hard and fast but found her communication style was incompatible with my communication needs. We had started (I thought) dating and...

“Could it be possible that you want to practice non-monogamy, but are finding out that THIS partner is just not the partner to do that with if you want to practice non-monogamy in a healthy way? You guys are not deeply compatible? “ Everything Galagirl just said was SPOT ON for me! Especially...

Update: Hello anything ne following or reading this thread. I want to share my gratitude to the members who have shared their perspective with me this far. Your comments, replies and insights into how you deal has been a great source of healing and coping for me. As of right now, I am mostly...

I am about to print off all of your comments in this thread and tape them up around my house where I will see them. I am deeply grateful for your sharing of insights with me. It does seem to be a chronic Condition or spiritual calling of mine, to see, feel and then work on my issues. I think of...

Wanted to give an update. So far, I waited to resume communication with “S” until she reached back out to me. She made two comments that completely avoided addressing what I thought was the elephant in the room. Then she replied to both me and my wife, essentially saying she takes a while to...

I’m with you! As far as my ghosting comment, I meant that her under enthusiastic response and delay makes me inclined to just drop off and stop communicating with her. I agree (in theory as this is my first ethically poly experience) that unapologetic and unabashed communication is a must. The...

Again, I am greatly appreciative of the insights and shares so far. I have not given all the information surrounding this circumstance and I can't tell if that would effect responses or not so I will elaborate on some key points. After "S" directly asked my wife in a conversation that was...

I'm with you 95%. I am grateful to hear perspective from someone who has and I presume still is doing the work for emotional health. Your observation that I was backing her into a corner was unpleasant to realize but I see that now and agree with your take. Perhaps because I am not...

Hi Kevin, Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply and suggestions. I will try to keep the thread going with updates. I have a lot to learn and my emotional and chemical makeup will likely make this journey more challenging than it would be otherwise but I think it is worth it. Hope it is...

Again your reply has given me a lot of great, nutritious food for thought and for my heart. I believe you have clearly distilled the situation with me. I would add that I seem predisposed to relationships that are especially good at bringing out my codependent tendencies. Absentee partner...

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I found it very true and helpful and got my butt to an alanon mtg tonight. I am also looking into how I want to proceed with therapy. I am eager to get well and can attest that family upbringing has certainly trained me to use relationships like...

Hello, My wife and I are taking actions toward opening our relationship to a young woman. My wife and I have been talking about polyamory, our personal boundaries, desires, comfort levels for a little over a year. We just had a wonderful first experience last. Ifht that left us both glowing and...