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I agree in principle with everything you said. It's just so hard to go through with it, especially when she seems to be taking steps to deal with her behavior (i.e., therapy, antidepressants, making efforts to not get triggered when I'm out with friends, or with other women who are only platonic...

I'm also curious if it was agreed to ahead of time that outside relationships would only be casual? I can understand you feeling the way you did if that was the agreement and your husband took it too far. What was the agreement the second time? Was is still casual only but due to how slow and...

Wow thanks for sharing that. What types of connections do you enjoy from an open marriage? The only time I really had full autonomy in my own dating was when my wife was seeing somebody consistently and enjoying it, but that ended when the other person wanted more than casual amd wouldn't...

I appreciate this different perspective. Can you expand on this a little bit? I feel like you have more to say and are only scratching the surface.

Also, when we met, I had only been in one monogamous relationship, was getting divorced and ready to have some fun. She had slept with 60-70 people and was ready to settle down. I didn't intend to fall in love with and settle down with the first person I slept with after separating from my wife...

@SEASONEDpolyAgain @Evie Here are some facts that might provide context: When we met, I was already in divorce proceedings with my first wife, but it wasn't final. I was 42 and she was 24. I already had my own apartment. She had a college degree, but also some criminal history. She has a...

I really appreciate your encouragement! 🙏

I regret doing this. One important fact I unintentionally left out: initially it was only supposed to be two weeks. I thought, I can take a break from this person for two weeks if it calms my wife's nervous system down so we can get back on track. I was still thinking there was hope for us. I...

Is this my therapist??? lol She askes me that all the time, because any time she asked how I felt about a situation, I first talked about the feelings of everybody else involved. Again, recovering people-pleaser. But yes, I was extremely hurt by the situation. This person was exactly the type...

You are very insightful. Yes, this type of behavior for her is highly out of character. She is a very kind partner. Very kind and generous to everybody. We don't have kids of our own, but she poured everything she had into my kids, even though they hated her at first because their mother (my ex)...

Ouch! But also thank you. That is the correct perspective. Interestingly, her demanding to read my texts and me refusing is what led to our first closure. She threatened to close if I did not give her my phone. I asked, "Are you fucking serious?" Then she upped the ante and said she would...

One of my partners from last summer, who is now an amazing platonic friend and a CNM coach (we also go to a poly book club together), told me that my wife's needs make me a walking red flag in the poly community. She recommended to just attend sex parties, but I have zero interest in that.

I understand that would be helpful, but it's not going to happen. I will offer this: since nobody here knows me and I actually do want real pushback where I might have a blind spot in how I'm seeing things. I'm only hurting myself if I'm not honest about her perspective. I've had enough...

Breaking off established relationships is one thing, but being forced to let go of a partner just as the NRE is taking off is very painful. I understand that different partners can move in and out of your life as needs change and desire fades, but that should be organic and not dictated...

Right. To be honest, my relationship satisfaction is going down fast the more she tries to control me, so this becoming less of a concern as time passes.

Hi! Thank you so much for responding. My wife has always had the freedom to date women, so I guess it has always been open, to some degree. For my 50th we ended up having a threesome with one of her girlfriends and that's when I asked if we could open it up more, which meant I could date women...

It feels like an impossible situation. My partner and I have been together almost 10 years, married for 5. No children. We were non-monogamous for about 16 months and it was the most alive and happy I've ever felt. My wife also seemed to enjoy it. She hit the ground running, exploring BDSM and...