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That said GG, I just wish I had more time to discuss with you today, but I'm working hard on some music. I want to respond, point by point, and have a rich thorough discussion. Don't ever get me wrong. I love that. But I don't have the time to be patient in going down that line, today. But I am...

I gave my situation as an anecdote, to the concept that Polys are Tools. I would like to discuss that logic more. My personal situation is probably best discussed in my blog. I want to explore here: "Are Polys' Tools? Why or Why Not?"

Not sure if I ever clarified this. But no, they had been flirtatious and making advances towards each other long before I even learned from her (my SO) that she was interested in him. That was a source of surprise for me, I was taken aback, but the fact that she found the time to divulge...

I enjoy the analysis and all, but are we getting to my original question at all, about feeling like a tool?

"said basically", was my way of saying, I implied that in their minds. If I had spoken that sentence/explanation to you, it would have come across perfectly. So don't worry about mistaking it for what I factually said, that's just the internet talking. I never ever said something so lude or...

Yeah good thoughts. I take a hands off approach. Openness comes with independence. I am not supposed to be watching her, taking care of her, being responsible for her. I don't need to be policing it. That is not letting someone have their freedom. "Yeah, you guys can have fun, but no horse...

GalaGirl, you took something out of context, and I think got inflamed over it. I never said "take off your clothes". Go back and re-read that please.

No

Alright...Well this is a guy that I met and became friends with while I was out at a convenience store with my SO. He seemed like a cool guy, new to the island, and a good guy to strike a friendship with. We hit it off right away, and my SO only slowly became his friend because she is a more shy...

Ok, I guess I just got used to the girls around here not believing I was in an open relationship and me always having to have them talk to my SO so she could explain. So I thought it made sense to let the guy know, that my SO isn't lying, I am in fact ok with it.

Hehe, yeah we're starting to cross posts. And also I'm tired. Let's talk more in the morning! Thank you very much for your dialogue, it's simply the tops! :)

I don't think this is a very sound question when you apply reverse logic to it. Of course, no one enjoys having their partner more when their partner is having sex with the entire nation compared to when they are just with you. It's not a question of what I want. It's a question of what I'm...

Eesh, we're really drilling down into details here just to double check if I meant what I said? Yes, when I say compersion I mean it. I would be happy if she enjoyed herself. It makes me happy for her to enjoy her life, her fantasies, her wants, so long as it doesn't hurt anyone, than I'm happy...

The permissions are about boundaries of respect, it's not about whether or not she's a thing or not. It's about what I'm comfortable with her doing. If she didn't respect what I'm comfortable with, we'd be strangers passing in the night, every moment of our lives. Oh wow, your response changed...

Just right off the top of my head, I hadn't anticipated being generous to people who would only be taking the generosity if it was by taking advantage of it. I think that's what it's really about. It's like someone who says, here you go everyone who needs money, here's one million dollars to...

Whew, that's a lot to think about, and I'm glad you chimed in. ... I'm going to re-read, haha

I had the scary thought today, that maybe a poly person who permits their partner to enjoy relations with other(s), is really just a tool, and vice-versa. from the Urban Dictionary: "Tool" - One who lacks the mental capacity to know he is being used. A fool. A cretin. Characterized by low...

You know what, I've got an even better analogy. It's like you hate working, but you need money, so you say to yourself, "Ok, I will try to get a job." So you go to the job interview and you tell him: "You know, in my heart, I am begging that you don't give me the job. I hate working, I prefer to...

There's some things you just don't need to say if you are adopting a certain lifestyle. You don't tell someone "I want to marry you, but your nose is ugly." You tolerate the things that aren't perfect because you don't need to broadcast any insecurity about anything you think you can handle and...

She's allowed, everyone is allowed, but part of her trying this lifestyle, is also attempting to wear a new cloak of beliefs, and one of those cloaks is not to be saying to the other's involved that she doesn't like this lifestyle. I mean that is pretty obvious. She's striking out.