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  1. KittenPuff

    What to do when your partner has the passion for his gf that you wish he had for you

    I am asexual, so sex and sexual desire is confusing to me, but feeling like I'm losing my love's attention/affection is not. I don't know if my opinion will be useful to you or not, but I thought I'd give it a shot since no one else has responded yet and I know how frustrating that can be. Have...
  2. KittenPuff

    Hubs & his gf: good news/troubling news

    Still figuring out how to respond with quotes and stuff. It's not that complicated, but it's complicated! I've started reading a little bit about RA and I like it. I need to read more. I'll check out the SoloPoly stuff, too. Thanks! I may give up on OKC, too. It's definitely a cesspool, but...
  3. KittenPuff

    Hubs & his gf: good news/troubling news

    Good points. Then I'm left with feeling like it's J & L's (hubs and gf) turf and I would be intruding. I feel like when I talked to him about it last night, he... well, to be honest when I think about it now, I feel like he gaslighted me and I fell for it. He kept saying, "I'm not saying you...
  4. KittenPuff

    Hubs & his gf: good news/troubling news

    That occurred to me, but the local poly community is also the local kink/BDSM community; they call themselves Fringe. As an asexual, I worry about my comfort level hanging out with people who are VERY comfortable with their sexuality and their kinks. It's also the community where he met her and...
  5. KittenPuff

    Hubs & his gf: good news/troubling news

    Thank you, Marcus. I've seen you respond to a lot of people here and I always value what you have to say. I am spending a lot (possibly too much) of my time exploring my feelings and figuring out exactly what it is I feel and why and what I can do about it, because I am the only one who CAN do...
  6. KittenPuff

    Hubs & his gf: good news/troubling news

    He doesn't want a monogamous relationship with her, he wants her to be monogamous with him while he maintains relationships with both of us. But I see what you mean. It is worrisome.
  7. KittenPuff

    Hubs & his gf: good news/troubling news

    Thank you. This gives me plenty to think about. I think what I meant when I said "it comes down to him to make sure that communication is happening" is not that this is how it should be, but just how it is right now. But I may have meant it the way you read it. I keep thinking and thinking...
  8. KittenPuff

    Hubs & his gf: good news/troubling news

    Thanks, everybody. I appreciate the feedback. I know everybody doesn't check everything every day. It's just hard when the internet is my only friend (at least as far as this situation is concerned) and I can't get a response right away. I waited, but I just couldn't believe NOBODY had anything...
  9. KittenPuff

    Hubs & his gf: good news/troubling news

    Does no one have any insight here? or did I break some kind of rule I don't know about and I'm now being shunned? or am I just a clueless noob and I need to figure this out by myself? I'm embarrassed and want to delete this post because I'm afraid I shared too much, but I can't figure out if...
  10. KittenPuff

    Hubs & his gf: good news/troubling news

    This is long, so skip to the end for the TL/DR version... So, I had dinner last night with my husband and his girlfriend. It went well. I really like her and she seems to like me, too. This is grand. We seem to be off to a good start with our V arrangement, which is nice because it is his and...
  11. KittenPuff

    Newbie probs

    Thank you for this. I see the truth of it now. He is home from his overnight with L and is extra appreciative of me today. :) It's all good right now and I worried over nothing. I spent too much time reading the posts from people having problems... I look forward to spending more time with her...
  12. KittenPuff

    Newbie probs

    When I really stop and think about the way things have been going instead of what I'm afraid of, I realize he has been very attentive to me and very sweet and supportive. It's all just so new and I have no past experience to relate to this. Sent him off this morning to spend a couple days out of...
  13. KittenPuff

    Newbie probs

    We had a great dinner last night--celebrated our 9th anniversary. Right now he's getting ready for his first overnight "date" with her. I want as much time as I can get with him before he spends the night with her because I feel certain that after that happens, the energy will change (for awhile...
  14. KittenPuff

    Newbie probs

    And in regard to my original post, I talked with him about my fears and feelings. We had a good chat and a cuddle. My fear of him loving her is a waxing and waning thing. I'm so programmed to think people only have room for one love at a time, but we all (here) know that's not true of everyone...
  15. KittenPuff

    Newbie probs

    But, of course, that's been explained already... (NOTE TO SELF: Read before responding, Kitten. Read before responding.)
  16. KittenPuff

    Newbie probs

    Ace doesn't mean we don't have sex, we just don't feel sexual attraction. Plenty of aces have kids. As for being bi, asexuals can have romantic feelings (or not) which are described as homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, etc
  17. KittenPuff

    Totally new

    Thanks Natja! I've found people here to be very welcoming and kind. I hope you found the same at Aven. I'd love to see an Ace group in my local pride parade. That would be very exciting!
  18. KittenPuff

    Newbie probs

    Well, they're not small, just smallER. :)
  19. KittenPuff

    Newbie probs

    FUCKING FUCK! I keep losing posts because I'm not used to this interface yet!!!!!! Sorry about the language... I usually try to restrain myself. Thank everyone for your input. There are some good things to consider here. I was just typing a response when my phone rang. I had a really...
  20. KittenPuff

    Newbie probs

    I have had so many LDRs in my life!
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