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I'm on one side of a V with my wife's girlfriend on the other and there are echoes of the things we've gone through in many of the things you've said. My wife and I talked constantly and took a long time navigating the twisting journey of opening up our long (25 year) monogamous marriage. You...

I'm also on one side of a V with my wife's GF on the other. Agree with Kevin that there is absolutely room for mono and poly relationship styles. The trick is not excluding one, but accepting both! I'd also highly recommend "More Than Two". Heard Franklin Veaux (one of the two authors) speak at...

Totally agree about the property thing. ... because for this sort of man, it is inconceivable that any woman would ever find sex with a woman to be preferable than sex with him. Or to put it a bit more bluntly, sex with his equipment.

While we're not unicorn hunters, some of this is familiar territory for my wife and me. We've actually had more than one conversation about the somewhat flippant expression "wants the best of both worlds." It conjures up the popular culture image of straight girls having girlfriends (or at least...

Over the past 6 or so years, my spouse and I have gone through the process of changing our 30+ year marriage relationship from a successful traditional, monogamous marriage to an open marriage. One of the more complicated mental tasks was breaking free of the stories we've been told that had...

Working on relationship fundamentals Hi Bluesun, I'm new to the group, although in a polyamorous relationship for only the past 5 or 6 years with my wife of 32 years. (My intro covers a few more of the details) You're in the throes of an incredibly difficult, emotional upheaval, yet you've...

The relationship, and by that I am referring to you, your wife and her lover, should proceed only as fast as that of the slowest moving partner. You need to take whatever time needed to build trust, security and safety and there's no rushing it.

I completely get that statement and have probably said the exact same words wrt my wife.

I've likened the experience to being a spectator, helplessly watching an impending car crash in slow motion with no way of doing anything to prevent it from happening. If the other person had truly been poly, it would have elicited an entirely different, and much more pleasant and happier...

re: near catastrophic mistakes Hi Leander, The most notable near disaster was my spouse, in the throes of NRE in overdrive, becoming involved with someone who 1) purported to be poly and 2) did not understand that we were committed to our marriage and relationship. Lessons learned for us were...

Hi everyone, My wife E. of many years renegotiated and rethought our monogamous marriage starting about 8 years ago. We did so in response to her realization that she deeply identified with women emotionally and sexually and was struggling to find something other than the binary choice of...