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I know a couple in a 24/7 D/s poly relationship who get around this by the sub asking permission before going on a date with a new person. The Dom pretty much always grants permission but the sub has to ask. After the first date, the sub no longer has to request permission to see the person...

I've had this happen with two of Blue's previous partners. In my case it was a combination of feeling demoted and not feeling validated by my partner. I try to give my metamores consideration but in these two cases it wasn't reciprocated (as in they didn't want my partner to call or text me...

I think counseling is a good idea. Only I'd do individual counseling. A good counselor will help you with your boundaries and will help you heal your childhood wounds. It's made a huge difference for me.

My experience with the men I've dated is similar... they share very few details (not referring to sexual details because I prefer those not be shared anyway.) After awhile I got use to "it was a nice date" or "I enjoyed the weekend." Just differences in communication styles I think.

I'm sorry, Atlantis. I don't know that you can prepare for that hole. It totally sucks that you have to. :( FWIW, it sounds like you're handling things well, considering the circumstances. ((Hugs))

Aside from what everyone else has said, is it also that you feel he lied by omission? Was he texting and calling you from her house, stating that he was "at a friend's house" but didn't say she was the friend? If that's the case, I could see where you would feel deceived by him. And, if she...

Check out Vicki's blog. She did a scavenger hunt that sounded really nice. The prize(s) could be anything that appeals to you and the clues could be all at home or send your partner different places with her ultimately arriving where you are.

I am sorry you went through so much. I can certainly see why you want to have a child with M before J & M have a child. The question is, what does M want? Does he want to have a child with J? If he does, is he willing to wait until you & he have tried or does he want to try with her first...

Welcome, SquarePeg. It's fairly common for the early days to be filled with some intense feelings, anxiety, and fear. In my experience, it gets easier over time. I look forward to reading more about your journey.

Lol. Excellent idea!

As you've said, poly saturation is a very personal thing and it's specific to the people you're dating and where you are personally, at the time, plus your personality. I get poly saturated very quickly...but then I work a lot of hours in my business, travel a fair amount, volunteer, care for...

Honestly I'd be pissed at Whiskers. Maybe he genuinely was caught off guard by the fact that you don't masturbate frequently but that doesn't excuse him calling your habits "sad", telling you that you must not be comfortable in your own body, or suggesting you need a sex positive yoga place for...

I am so sorry, Bluebird :( You've done some really amazing work with your blessings box.

I agree with Mags. In my 6+ years, the only time I had 3 way dates and vacations was when I was in a triad. I've met very few of my partners' partners. While I like the idea of kitchen table poly and even a poly household, reality is that it only works with some partners and metas. Even...

I agree. It shouldn't take tears and drama to be heard. Unfortunately, that's been my experience in poly arrangements with men, too. The partner with the tears, drama, and tantrums gets the most attention. The partner who works through her stuff quietly and with rational conversation, is seen...

Happy late Birthday, Bluebird! It sounds like a nice day. I love carrot cake and am envious that your husband makes it homemade! You have two great guys :) There are a lot of parents of addicts in al-anon...plus you also qualify as the wife of an alcoholic. If you try it, you may want to...

A lot of people in al-anon don't have active alcoholics in their lives any more. Its more about learning tools that help us with the after effects of living with an alcoholic or growing up in an alcoholic home. ACOA or ACA are about healing your inner child. Free therapy like Magdalyn said...

I'm an adult child, too. Do you have ACOA meetings or Al-Anon meetings in your area? There are a lot of adult children in al-anon meetings, too. It's a cheap form of group therapy.

Converting the basement to an apartment sounds like the better idea to me, too. Though, if I were gf and investing in a property that I don't own, I would want a written agreement of what happens to my investment in the event that the living arrangement doesn't work out. I wouldn't want to...

I'm glad things are going so well for you poly wise, Autumn! That's so horrible about your friend :( I'm sorry about your cat. On the hysterectomy, I had a total hysterectomy at 36 due to health issues. The ovaries were more preventive because of family history of ovarian and breast cancers...