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Oh and I forgot to mention @GalaGirl the "Most skipped step in Polyamory" article was the one of the first things to read. So at least I know I was heading in the right direction. Thanks!

Just airing it out. He collected his stuff yesterday and I'm doing the work I need to do to get back to where I was and continue from there. He's not a malicious person, it was never his intention to hurt me. His way of doing things is based too much in logic whereas mine is emotion with...

It wasn't the "lovey dovey" parts that threw me back into a spiral. It was hearing him say that their love is strong enough to work through anything and if she's going through a tough time all she needs to do is let him know and he will be there to support her that really tore me up. The week...

Not quite. As a couple, the 13th meant more to us than Valentine's Day. As it was to be their first one, he went out and they had a video call together because we had our valentine's date the night before. This was my suggestion to him because he felt torn. I was perfectly happy with the setup...

There shouldn't be any more curveballs like that because we didn't keep anything from other partners at home. We hadn't reached that point of being comfortable with it yet. I wasn't looking for emotional support or comfort from him. Some acknowledgment that he's sorry for fucking me over again...

I wasn't snooping! I clicked on the file because I thought it was something I had shared with my husband when we were together. It was on MY computer. I have never invaded his privacy like that. I was trying to delete his account. He has his own devices. He didn't need to use mine.

I'm devastated. I went to delete my ex's account from my computer last night. I couldn't because there were audio files on there. I clicked on one thinking it was something we'd shared. It wasn't. It was a love letter to his gf. It said EVERYTHING I needed from him. I know he'd done it...

Thank you for all of the replies. Reading over what I've written and the outside perspectives from you all has really helped to ground my own thoughts about this adjustment period. Putting everything aside this is just a separation of the romantic connection we used to have. A breakup like...

I guess I need to give my kid more credit in his resilience to this transition period. I don't care what he's going to do during his time away, it was more about the timing of it. I worry that if we start the co-parenting routine we've agreed and it stops so soon afterwards our son might feel...

My strong emotional response and probably over protective tendencies towards our son was referred to as "Mama Bear" and it could get ugly. I would ask in the evenings when we were in the same room doing our own thing and he was on his phone (a device permanently attached to him!) if he was...

Well if he does then he'll see soon enough. He can also be very charming at first, as if you are the most special person ever to cross his path. NRE hits him hard. I don't proclaim to be perfect, I suspect I may have read too much instead of finding a balance between the two.

Hi Kevin, Thank you. My (now ex) husband - we're not divorced or legally separated yet; Its too soon in the process to begin that road - isn't the type of person to read about poly nor would I ever see him joining something like this forum because he's more about experiencing it for himself...

Hi. Thank you. You are correct, we fell into the traps of codependency. We only had our parents' relationship to learn from and neither were the greatest of models. Trying to find the healthy parts of a relationship that had became so infused with this wasn't easy - I think we opened the...

Yeah its been a lot. This has helped. I wasn't sure at first but am glad I've done it now. Its good to get some perspective from people who aren't friends or relatives. Coupleblob - that's a good term and its exactly who we became just by how we operated around each other and having no...

Hi. Thank you. One of the most difficult parts is it did feel like he was meeting my needs before our son was born and the subsequent revelations. I know now that I was keeping a lid on a lot of things for fear of making him feel guilty or inadequate. I have so many "if you're able to do...

Hi. Thank you. When we learned about his diagnosis, it made a lot of sense and accomodations were made. I understood he found certain household tasks mundane so we found things he could do - cooking, filling the dishwasher, washing and drying laundry - but not putting it away. What I...

Hi. Thank you. I'm hoping through what I've seen so far that he will be the co-parent our son needs. I've never been single before so I am sort of looking forward to finding out what that is like. I get we both deserve to be happy and our relationship definitely was not that after...

Hi. Thank you. Of course I understand its hard to diagnose a relationship with a few paragraphs and this is only my perspective on things. Towards the end I just couldn't see his perspective any longer because it was all based in how stressed he felt about our domestic situation, questioning...

Hi. Apologies if this is the wrong place to post this - I don't really know where else to go apart from a therapist that I'm waiting for a reply on. I was - I say was because I am newly separated from my husband - in a mono relationship with him for 13 years. We were, I thought, happy enough...