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Nycindie, yes I have noticed one or two rather "tough love" posts. I can take constructive criticism though and have already gained much from coming to these forums. I will try to give everyone a charitable reading and not let my hackles rise automatically if someone is being harsh.

Thank you for the reply, I found that very constructive. You are right that a matter of months is not enough to truly know someone but I am getting to know this girl. Things have to start somewhere and it is still in an intense place where feelings can blind you to certain aspects even if you...

We have interacted via video many times. I'm aware she's not a sweaty 43 year old man. While I have roleplayed a lot with her I do talk to her about her life and interests too, not all of our interactions are based around roleplay. I talk with her extremely often and for prolonged periods. I get...

The girl is not a sex worker, just a normal person. There are lots of places online you can go for online roleplay of this sort. Fetlife I don't think allows you to specifically set that your looking for it in your profile but I've seen other sites that do. Nycindie, its not that I'm willing...

Thank you for explaining. I mistook for you abruptness and bluntness for being judgemental. Hearing your experience definitely helps me understand where you are coming from when you talk about this. I do have a situation and I do need to resolve it in a way we can all be happy with. I do not...

You are right and maybe I should be clearer in my posts. I care very much about my wife's emotional wellbeing. I am not disregarding the prospect of a counsellor, I am considering it. My comments on a poly-friendly counsellor were mainly aimed at joint counselling or for myself. A standard...

Thank you for your very helpful input Galagirl... and also your two cents Magdlyn. Galagirl that was a very helpful and useful. Your breakdown of advice on how to deal with longer lasting fights was interesting and constructive, I will definitely think more about these things next time I need...

Thank you for the extra advice. I am unsure yet if counselling is the route I (or both of us together) should take but it is good to have this advice and information. The reason I asked about a poly-friendly counsellor vs just counselling is that since we are both very new ideas relating to...

Thank you for the links and advice. Unfortunately I am in Kansas and well... seems none of those directories have anyone in Kansas (or at least close to me). Any additional advice on seeking out counsellors in case I go that route?

Thank you for the replies and advice (and criticism). I am trying to do what is best in a very new and foreign situation for me. None of this is something regular life and relationships prepare you for. Before this happened to me I had never considered the possibility that I might genuinely love...

Thank you for your replies. I'll be checking those links and seeing what is useful to my life circumstances. Hope, it may come to counselling but I am hoping not. I still feel we can work through this ourselves but if it does drag out forever then it will be an option I consider. Magdlyn...

I experience jealous more as a combination of pain, hurt, longing and confusion/frustration. I don't get angry though I can get frustrated with myself and the situation. What tends to trigger my jealousy is her attention, love and affection being elsewhere and me not being able to have it...

Just an update on my "case". Its going slowly. My wife and I have been very busy in our lives and haven't had a real chance to sit down and have long talks on it. It tends to be more like fire management when she gets a flare up of emotion about the issue and I reassure her without managing to...

As a newbie to navigating the hazards of polyamory this is one for me. My LDR lover has an LDR boyfriend herself. I am not normally a very jealous person and what minor twinges I get are coped with through reassurance and talking to her. While this is the case it is not the case when we are...

Thank you for the reply. I read both your comments. Other than the emotional bond which has formed between me and my online partner we have done nothing that my wife doesn't know I am doing. I certainly don't feel she is ready to deal with that. As of right now she has a very varied response to...

Hey all, I'm new to the whole poly thing but have been reading some material online for a little. I am currenly in a long lasting marriage, 8 years, and have noticed a aspect of my sexuality assert itself more and more since the honeymoon of the first few years departed. I find I desire other...

Hey, I'm new to the whole poly thing entirely. I'm here mostly to look around and maybe get some advice from those who have been there before. Currently I'm married guy but I've noticed a long term shift in my desires that has led me to want to possibly open up my relationship. I've had a few...