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I am not using the term in the sense of the tv show. I simply use it as a stand-in for an additive model rather than a compensatory model.in other words, my ideal polhamorous relationship involves being able to love multiple people in a myriad of ways while remaining open and connected within...

i appreciate your concern and thought that I need therapy. And I see you seem to have a stereotypical view of what women want.However, my desire for big love does not make theirs small; it means that I see their style of poly as separate and individualized rather than group-minded.They have the...

Thanks again. Just an update: I decided that I wasn’t being true to myself and felt I was “bending myself into pretzels” to remain in the relationship with Tony. He was truthful in his intents, but I am looking for big love where people help each other, respect each other by listening to each...

Still wondering Thank you all for your thoughtful replies! I enjoy this site because I don’t know many poly people, even though I’ve attended poly-friendly events and a discussion group. Tony and I are still seeing each other, and we both explore other relationships. I know that I could put in...

Hi, I posted here before about my relationship with Tony, with whom I am in a relationship with. He lives with Jane, and although I would have preferred a kitchen-table polyamory, she prefers all relationships to be separate. In any case, Tony and I still see each other regularly and he has...

I feel that I worded that incorrectly. I think that I meant that in a nesting situation, bonds can be strengthened by sharing a home, finances, etc. in a way that a secondary relationship does not have the same bonds. I appreciate your advice about joining a divorce support group - I will...

I am the secondary, non-nesting partner, and I am the one with children (although he has older children he visits regularly) and a tricky schedule. I am grateful that Tony's primary is fairly flexible, but we do plan ahead. She has to schedule her other partners as well. Being spontaneous...

Yes and no. I think that I do crave security AND I am worried that I am making the wrong decision. I stayed in a marriage that I was unhappy in (from the start) for the wrong reasons (he seemed to be the right person for on paper and we got along well, but neither of us was really satisfied.)...

Thanks, Kevin. I think the thing that bothers me is that there is nothing connecting me and Tony other than the sexual relationship. His life is intertwined with hers in a way that would make it hard or at least a lot more work if they decided to break up. This makes their relationship more...

Yes, I have to admit that I am jealous of Jane. I am working on that. I also worry that because I am not the primary, if anything happens Tony, I would be in the dark or shut out. Hopefully not. In any case, I think you hit my dilemma spot on. I can definitely live with it for now, and truly, it...

Thanks Thanks for replying. I think both Tony and I started out with the idea that it would be a simple, flexible relationship, but things just progressed. There was NRE at first, but we've been seeing each other for over a year. For him, this is an ideal relationship because he lives...

Hi everyone, My story: I identify as a woman and use the pronouns she/her. I was unhappily married with children for a long time. Towards the end of our marriage we decided to open our relationship (I was unhappy with the lack of sex, but also not attracted to my partner sexually). I thought...