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My wife, who did the cheating, would tell you the same thing. It's been 5 years (read: ancient history) and she still gets emotional about it every once in a while. 'Miserable' really isn't a strong enough word for it.

Of course! Given our particular personalities and relationship dynamics, there is no benefit to poly "fairness" for us and maybe the OP could benefit from the same idea temporarily.

On second thought, that's not even possible. Once I realized Wifey was stressing, I wouldn't be happy about it any more. So it's either A (monogamy) or C (poly/mono). B isn't even an option.

Team "us" has a lot more to it than poly fairness. Basically, say in scenario A, we're straight monogamous. And let's say we're each enjoying 50 units of overall happiness, as measured by our iPhone Happiness Meter app. Now, in Scenario B, we're both poly. So now I'm up to 55 happiness...

If you're the type that insists on keeping score, yeah, it won't fly. If you're the problem-solving type that can identify a logical means to an end, there's no need to keep score. Either it'll work or it won't, at which point you make a new plan. In my personal case, the scenario with only...

On an anonymous internet forum, "it is my opinion that the following could be the case" is generally implied. Obviously, OP can't encapsulate an entire 5-year relationship in a single page of text, and I don't really want to have to read a disclaimer on every forum post.

I don't mean to pry, but I'd never heard of this until today. So he has normal arousal, erection, and the typical sensations leading up to orgasm? i.e. sex feels good, but with a disappointing ending? Every once in a while, I've had it happen that I just couldn't "get there," in which cases I...

Not to be a downer (I'd be great if polyamory filled all of your gaps), but... You know there are other fish in the sea, right? I realize that on a poly board, poly may seem like a solution to a lot of things, but there's also the old-fashioned breakup to consider. Maybe you stay good friends...

Take it from someone who's been cheated on: Don't. It's a miserable experience for everyone involved. Suggest an open relationship if you think there's a chance she'll genuinely go for it. If there's a chance counseling will solve your problems, knock yourself out. Otherwise, just leave...

Wifey and I are in a situation where she's meeting the new people, while I'm not. It's kind of a long story, but the nutshell version is I have a "wife with other guys" kink, and she gets stir crazy as a full-time mom, she gets more out of friendships with guys than with gals, and she hasn't...

I don't know if I'd call it weird. While I would prefer to know and be friendly with anyone who strikes Wifey's fancy, it might be presumptuous of me to assume they feel the same. I wouldn't necessarily be put off if she met someone who wasn't comfortable getting to know me, especially if it's...

This is one of those times where there's no right answer. I don't feel any qualms about initiating contact with one of Wifey's guys, but I work hard to keep it light and respectful. She gets that and doesn't seem to mind at all. If she ever did mind, we'd meet in the middle somewhere. I...

If, by telling her you can't be happy with her loving someone else, you cause her to leave, what do you really have? I don't know anything about your relationship, and I'm new around here (longtime lurker), so take it for what it's worth. But I do happen to have a spectacular 16-year...