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I was poly with the couple for a year. I branched out and found my Spouse, and the poly relationship lasted about 4-5 months after that. The poly couple had personal problems was becoming toxic, so I left that situation. The mono started after that. It was originally a default situation. Then...

1) Do you think marriage automatically introduces hierarchy between the married couple? Can a married couple claim to be non-hierarchial? (We've likely debated this before). Yes it does imply hierarchy. The people involved need to sit down and specifically address this issue. It is probably true...

Thank you for replying so thoughtfully! I appreciate all this guidance and the perspectives so much! I was dating the other couple for about a year when I met Spouse. The male member of the couple came to my house for sexual times 1-2x a week. The female member was someone I was emotionally...

Very well-put, thank you. You are right on all points. I scheduled a family dinner at a restaurant for us all for 2 weeks from now, so we can meet and talk. After that I will be inviting my partner to my home to hang out or stay the night. I informed both partner and spouse that I don't wish to...

I just want to say I'm so sorry, that's just awful. Honesty is the 100% number one rule in any relationship. Once they are caught in a lie, there is a loss of emotional intimacy forever. You will never be able to trust them again. My heart goes out to you. You did everything right, just know that.

Thank you both for replying and so quickly, too. You have both been very validating to my feelings. I didn't mention it in the original post because it really shouldn't be a factor here-- but my spouse has repeatedly violated my trust in the past. The hurt part of me asks myself why I then...

I met and married my spouse several years ago. We met through a dating app where I was "out" as poly and I was in a poly relationship with another couple. That relationship with them ended for reasons not related to me and my spouse. My spouse does not identify as poly but was fine with me being...