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Ouch. How bitterly disappointing. I can understand why you feel annoyed at yourself, but really, how were you to know all this in advance? You have to have some expectations of people. If its any consolation, which it probably isn't, when it comes to religious movements its very common for...

You say you don't want to risk loosing your current partner yet this sounds like a very high risk situation! Admittedly I know nothing of your personality or what your partner and close friend are like. This is always a good question to ask; Could the reality distortion field of falling in love...

Lol no don't apologize for writing a lot. NRE is a pleasure to read about. I get that you're shy. That's a challenge. However, bold people still get totally slain by amorousness the same way. It makes anyone a wreck. That's actually a *good* thing. Maybe you don't need to get it under control...

I guess if there are any potential problems ahead, NRE can be like flooring the accelerator while drunk!

Hmm. I don't think that's it exactly. That's being happy that there is harmony, which is great. EDIT: This relationship with Snowbunny and Brother-Husband has been going on a while? If so, familiarity is bound to be a factor. I think compersion is a kind of reaction to something new, like a new...

Oh yeh! Do stuff because you want to. Great if activities he likes are things you can get into as well. If they're not, its probably not worth trying too hard. Tends to be a waste of time, like you said. Also can lead to resentment later on. I know everyone says it all the time but yeah, that...

Possible consolation: Once you've got close to one or more people with marked narcissistic tendencies you will spot them much easier later on and most likely avoid them. I feel bad saying this, because it's not like they can help it, but they make for absolutely appalling friends or partners.

Far as I'm concerned cuckold (and cuckquean) refers to the fetish. You are not a cuckold unless that is a fetish of yours. Using the term as an insult is antiquated.

Tough day. Hope you feel better soon.

Hi David. Your set up sounds lovely. Will be interested in reading anything you write about those near catastrophic mistakes. I hope to avoid any of those if I can. :)

Its a shame they want to change you. I sincerely hope they give up on that idea. Have you heard of couple privilege? Might be worth reading about. The difficulties of someone fitting into an existing relationship are often heaped onto the new person.

You're right. Questioning existing assumptions and habits makes all the difference. If someone is open to reflecting on something its amazing how much they can change. Well, their identity can change considerably. Not personality. If someone has a personality that is strongly reactionary their...

Found responses encouraging. :) That's really interesting. The first relationship I had that I'd call genuinely poly was like that. We already shared everything before we met the girl we both fell for so in his case it wouldn't have been much of a leap. :) I'd like my wife to find a guy but...

There is bound to be a lot of intersection because both BDSM and Polyamory are counterculture. I don't think there is any other reason why they intersect. Personally I am not into BDSM as such but I find a lot of the people I get on well with are very much into it. They are much less likely to...

In denial? Yeh, probably, if someone believes that they are monogamous (or polyamourous) as a matter of fact. Polyamory isn't implicitly normal or natural. Nor is monogamy. In a simplistic sense they're both just approaches to managing our need for love and sex. If the below is true for pretty...

Wow. So much going on here. Find it fascinating reading whats happened and how you're thinking it through and trying to deal with it. Thanks for sharing.

That was good to read. :) I guess the trouble with leaving things as they are, even if just being able to be around this guy is a great feeling, is that the buzz from NRE never lets up. Its neigh impossible to stop wondering about whether something could happen while its going on. Hoping and...

Generally speaking I've found that many men that I or my wife and I have talked to about polyamory (or open relationships) have a hard time understanding it. In some cases its like they don't believe it can be real. Others have gotten some strange misconceptions or appear to find it...

Its a very good thing. :D And you're right. Its not like this is LinkedIn so I'll leave it Wabi-sabied. Having read it back its not actually bad. Its just my mental image of yesterday is basically this:-

Oh, I will be wary. Parties always have to come back down to earth. Even if things are moving in the direction I hope they are its likely going to be a case of two steps forward, one step back. It is encouraging, though. Something is up. This morning together it felt a lot like how we were the...