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Oh, I know that´s her choice. I know she could actually do something about it, but either she doesn´t care, or she really can´t see what she CAN do. I just feel so tired of trying to force something that isn´t working. I don´t think I can keep trying to take them someplace they don´t want to go...

Update. I talked to Bea. I told her what I felt, that I wanted to tell Bill everything, I told her my fears and I told her I feel a lot of pressure. I also told her I didn´t feel I could go on like this very long. She told me she doesn´t want to change anything. She doesn´t want to tell him...

Well, I really appreciate your response. I AM very aware of these things. I am also actively doing something about my depression, and I know it´s in my hands to feel well. What worries me is that I hadn´t had a single crisis in over 2 years, but since December I have had several. I know I have...

I´ll try to think about that. I really don´t want to end this, but I know I have to talk about all this with them. And as to being alone, I don´t know why i´m so scared, if I was alone for so long and didn´t even feel alone. I felt fine.

I really want to thank everyone that has helped me through this. I´m going to see her today and talk to her. I feel so much stronger. I don´t feel so alone and everything you have told me has helped me a lot. Thank you so much

Yes, I think what I´m finding more difficult is trying to understand their dynamics. I wish they could just establish a new dynamic with me. I really think they are worth it, but let´s see how things go.

That´s a very precise descrption of what they do. I had never thought they might actually think that isn´t lying. That makes it a bit easier to understand. I definitely need to talk a lot of thing to both of them. Together? I´m not sure. I´m trying to have the courage to do that. I loved your...

That´s a huge part of it. It´s not so much that I think she´s lying to me, it´s that I think she´s lying to herself. I think she wants to believe all that she tells me, but I´m not sure she´ll be able to live with it. I feel she isn´t really choosing anything, and i´m just so scared she will...

Thank you so much for your response. They helped me a lot in trying to confront my insecurities. I now realize: 1) My biggest fear is being alone, again. I was alone for a very long time. Now I know what it is to have someone to talk to, to hug me, to phone me. I am sooooo scared of losing...

I hope you're right! I hope we get to talk all these fears together. Tomorrow is their anniversary. I feel so strange. I feel jealous and I don´t know why I feel that, if I really want them to have a nice relationship. We agreed we won´t call or text or have any form of contact tomorrow. I...

Oh! I´m having second thoughts! What if he feels so angry and betrayed I end up losing both of them? What if we try to open our relationships, it doesn´t work out, and they drift apart as a couple? I don´t want to do that to them! I´m so scared! Anyone? Please?

Oh, if only I were so brave! It would be like a dream, being able to do that! I would feel so free! But I´m just so scared. I don't want to lose her. I feel so pathetic, being so afraid. You're right. I´m being tormented. I feel so dishonest. I´m just not brave enough to risk what I have, even...

I forgot to tell you I agree completely in that it´s ridiculous to be hiding behind each other´s backs. I also forgot to tell you I will start reading today what you suggested, and I might print it and share it with them. Thank you so much for those suggestions.

Thank you soooo much for answering my post. I had so much hope in getting the type of responses you wrote. I really appreciate them. The moment I read I had come to the right place, I felt so relieved. It´s so important to feel other people understand and have gone through similar experiences...

Hi. I just made a new post in new to polyamory and realized I should have come here first. Well, I´m a 30 year old woman. I am living a lot of new things and I woyld love to find a community in which I could share everything, get some opinions, etc. I hope to find that here.

I don´t even know where to start...here I go. I am a 30-year old woman. I have battled with depression all my life. I have had male and female partners, and I´m fine with that. I am a very lonely person. I haven´t had a partner in 8 years, and most of my energy goes into not being depressed...

Hi. I am new to this forum, and this lifestyle. I have been feeling sooo lonely and confused! I feel I can´t talk to anyone about what´s happening to me, and I have so many questions. I am not even sure if what I am living can be classified as polyamory. I would really like to share my story...