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Thank you for posting this and for your reponse on another thread with your criteria for a working, fulfilling, satisfying relationship. My own relationship is in a state of flux and I've been struggling a bit. Both of these posts have helped me clarify some things.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Years ago, I took the actual test and I *think* I was INTP. I've taken quite a few online in the past few years and there has been a pattern. My most common type is INFP, then INTP. I've also come out as INFJ and INTJ...whichever type I show: Intraversion - very strong preference Intuition...

The difference in exposing someone to the cold or flu versus herpes (or any STI) is the nature of the contact required for the exposure to take place. I can expose someone to my cold/flu/pink eye - or get exposed to their cold/flu/pink eye - just by going in the grocery store and touching the...

I'm going to respond to this and then step back as we're going in circles and have really gotten away from the OP's original question. It goes back to this concept for me: say what you mean and mean what you say. There is a difference in saying "I'll be home around 8" versus "I'll be home at...

I'm not picking on you, Marcus! Just your posts are thought provoking and some of this made me a little...sad. What's wrong with expecting people to do what they say they are going to do? Have we become so jaded and cynical that we've not only accepted that people won't keep their word, but...

Marcus, We appear very different, but in reality I don't think we're as far apart as it seems (at least on some things!). I do enjoy your postings. They have exposed me to a different perspective and assisted me in thinking through some things. Anyway, going between your post... I agree it...

How is extending common courtesy to a partner (or anyone for that matter) controlling or limiting? If I tell my partner (or a friend or really anyone) that I’ll be home (or at a certain location) at a certain time, I’ll be there. If the other person requests that we meet at a certain time and...

I'm not Jane, but... In addition to explicit agreements, a responsibility that my partner has is that he not neglect, take for granted or ignore me because he has a "shiny new". And it wouldn't matter if the shiny new is a new person or a new hobby... In my case, since we are in a closed...

A couple of thoughts I had on this situation… If he was in a *mutually* agreed upon monogamous relationship with his partner at the time and he engaged in sexual activity with another partner, then he did cheat on and he did lie to this partner. So, is it ok to lie and cheat so one can do...

Hi all, I purposely used this example. I got the impression that some people were saying that they didn't even converse with someone without telling them they were poly before it was even established that the other person was interested in getting to know them or spend time with them...

Thanks for the responses. I asked the question because for most people - myself included - there is more than one potential "deal breaker" when it comes to forming lasting or serious relationships, romantic or otherwise. If one has a profile on a dating site, I would expect that the issues I...

Other info? Something came to mind as I’ve read through this thread. Being poly/ethically non-monogamous isn’t the only issue involved in assessing the romantic potential of a date. These immediately come to mind: Religious affiliation/faith/spiritually or lack thereof Political...

Hi SCat, This is so true. I’ve accepted that she “needs” more attention and/or time than me and don’t have a problem with it. I am an introvert and enjoy and need alone time. Though I have trouble accepting that she “needs” more sex than me and struggle with inequity in this area. After...

Hi Vin, I’ve been thinking on this… the thing is, we are NOT lovers to each other; we are only lovers to D. We do love each other, but are not in love with each other. We are close friends and have intimacy with each other, but we are not romantic or sexual partners: nor do we desire this...

Hi all, Thanks for the responses. Combining posts: I strive not to compare and I usually succeed. However, there is no way for me not to notice how much more time she normally gets - I made my peace with that a long time ago. Luckily, I don't need, nor want, constant contact with a...

Hello Vin, Thanks for another perspective. I’ve been pondering this for a couple of days… I don’t believe it is ok for me to decide what information is important to someone else. HOWEVER, I do get to decide what information I’m comfortable sharing. Why does another’s need to know trump my...

Thanks for your responses Cindie and GG, I do agree that *part* of the problem lie with D's handling of our multiple relationships. Despite a lifetime of various forms of non-monogamy, D has never dealt with a dynamic like we have. He was used to being in situations where he lied/she lied or...

Dealing with another's issues and making boundaries Haven't posted in a while, but have been reading and still learning... A brief re-introduction: I’m a straight, mono female with a straight male partner (D) who has two other straight mono female partners (Ki and Ka). None of us are legally...

It's a work in progress... some days it's easy, some days not so much! But I am realizing that most of the time when I'm feeling badly, it's nothing that he's done or not done, it's just those fears and insecurities acting out. So, I find ways to distract myself until I can "talk myself down".