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I haven't posted in here for a while. I am in the darkest period of my life so far. My primary/life partnership of the past 13 years ended this fall. I moved out over two months ago. We were monogamous for 4.5 years and were open the rest of the time after that (initially swinging that morphed...

Hi all! I've been with my girlfriend for about 6 months. My primary partner and I are going on a three week vacation in a week. It will be the longest my gf and I have been apart. We see each other almost every day and while I know I'm going to be so sad and miss her terribly, I'm cognizant that...

Hello all! I haven't posted here in a long time, and am coming up against a new challenge that I thought I'd try flushing out here. Brief background: My life partner and I have been together for almost 11 years. We opened up our relationship 6.5 years ago. He has been dating my best friend for...

I have some questions regarding privacy and disclosure. I made the mistake of disclosing a specific piece of information/specific experience that my primary male partner (J) and I had last summer (which was in itself a boundary-breaking experience) to my female secondary partner (M) (she and I...

In June of last year, I met a woman (D) and we started dating. She and I got along well, and I was excited about cultivating the romantic chemistry for myself that she seemed so clearly to feel for me. She and J got along really, really well and I was happy that they liked each other and seemed...

J came home tonight from his date with his secondary, C. It sounds like they broke up, and from the little bit of information that J is giving me, it stemmed from the fact that C felt neglected. J mentioned that his ability to provide emotional energy has been expended on me the past few weeks...

Here is my trouble: I am an insecure-attachment type (I get easily freaked out by confrontation, think that we are on the verge of breaking up when we argue, etc), and I know this attachment type of mine is easily aggravated by having a poly reality. I work on managing these feelings as best I...

What is the appropriate balance to strike so that you are managing your feelings effectively but not stuffing them? J saw his partner, C, today. It was their first really sexually intimate date, and I was expecting everything to happen as it did. It still caused me some gut reactions of "Ack...

J (primary male partner) and I have a relationship with couple B(bi comfy man) & C(bicomfy? woman). After a couple of weeks, we started negotiating how to have 1-1 relationships. So far (until now), people seem to be getting what they need in terms of interactions/encounters, frequency and...

My primary partner (J) and his secondary (B) are together today for four hours (lunch, intimacy, etc- I don't really know). I have felt increasingly withdrawn this past week as today has gotten closer. I feel withdrawn from my primary partner and from my secondaries (I see both B and her husband...

I am mostly looking for suggestions on the "poly math" of this situation, so that I can suggest ways to help our quad move forward happily and healthfully. I think we are missing some key aspects of having strong relationships all across the board. Actually, if someone could simply remind me...

We have been together six years; monogamous for the first 4 ½, and open for the last 1 ½. We started off in the swinging scene; it felt like a safe way to explore having sexual variety as we could do it together. We still date couples together, but it is a smaller portion of our relationship...

Hi everyone! I am a 24 year old bi (pan?) woman in the Pacific Northwest. My primary male partner and I have been together about 6 years now (we met our third week of college!). We opened up about a year and a half ago after reading Sex at Dawn together. We started off swinging, and while we...

My male primary partner, J, and I have been together for just about six years now. We opened up almost a year and a half ago. We first ventured out in the swinging community but have since branched out to where we do separate, as well as couples, dating. I am bisexual, and it was very...