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Emm, I think the reason it feels useful to stick to primary/secondary language is that when I have tried to stay away from it (because I think "secondary" can have connotations I don't intend, at least for my partner), I've ended up feeling like I am telling a white lie of some kind. Like she...

Thanks for all your responses! I can't say I know what to do now, but this helped me feel the complexities of the situation. We talked this morning and she said she doesn't want to be a secondary. We've talked about this before, and I've agreed to use other language. But that doesn't change the...

Hi all, I am dating two people. One person is actively poly. This person supports my relationship and I support theirs (they have two other partners). Sometimes it's hard, of course, but we're managing to talk through the challenges. The other person is only poly for me. She is not interested...