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I don't understand it myself, just like I don't understand why I like chocolate, to take a trivial example. But it is a fact about me. Thank you for accepting this and not trying to change it.

nycyndie, I find your persistence with this personally offensive. It is not the topic of this thread to discuss whether men *should* be broody, but how those of us who actually *are* can combine that with being poly. You are of course welcome to start a new thread, but please stop hijacking...

Firstly, I'd be delighted. I'd spend time with both kids, sometimes both together, sometimes apart. I'd *want* to be contributing around 50% of the childcare for each child. Secondly, what would I expect? In an ideal world, do you mean? Or in our current disfunctional anti-poly world? In an...

it matters to me, and to many men. The fact that it "doesn't matter" to the culture is a way of denying men in that culture the possibility of even thinking whether this is something that matters to them (like making Gay people or Poly people invisible in our culture) The fact that some...

er, no thanks. The review snippets you quoted suggest that their culture totally invalidates men who feel as I do. I do not feel that my gender should prevent me having a parental relationship with the children who carry my genes: the idea that this privelege only extends to women stikes me as...

I am a little confused by the interaction of two parts of me. I am broody: I want to have children, I want to be part of my children's upbringing, and it is irrationally important to me to know that some/all of the children I am bringing up are related to me genetically. On the other hand, I...

Thanks for clarifying: I misunderstood the concept and biamorous does not apply to me, but biaffectionate certainly does. As you say, we live in a wonderfully complex world...

There are two Rivers here now: which one is this? River: feel free to add your own comments to this 'disambiguation' thread (as wikipedia would call it). I now link to it in my sig, in the hope of lessening the confusion a little: feel free to do the same from your sig. River~~

Please note there are two people here with the name River. The first one to arrive (March 2009) here has the username River, and signs his name River, and his public profile is here. He is based in Santa Fe, NM, in the US, and is bisexual The new arrival (August 2011) is me, with username...

Terminology: biamorous or biaffectionate ?? I have been wondering about the word 'biamorous' - I love the idea it stands for, and claim the concept as another aspect of myself. But, for me the -amorous ending in polyamorous does imply either sex, or a romantic relationship that is tending...

That will do for short, if you don't mind leaving out your husband's casual relationships. The hinge of an open poly Vee would suggest that all three of you were open to casual relationships in addition to the Vee If you wanted to be exact, you are the hinge of a poly Vee, and one your...

If that was all, it would be poly Then your relationship with your husband is open, or possibly open/poly I would say that the fact that he is content for you to have multiple partners makes the relationship poly. Some people would call it poly/mono to reflect the difference. But for me, the...

Agree with you so far, 'blindsided' is exactly it. and here, Magdlyn, is where I part company with you. It seems obvious to me that the man, also, was blindsided by his own reaction. Does nobody else see this? The guy has wanted something for 12 years, then when he gets it, it turns out not to...

Replied here just to bump this thread nearer to the top, so that other newcomers get to find this advice more easily... ...and to say these thanks are just as deserved now, regrettably the spam has not gone away yet...

He was assuming you would know his boundaries even when he didn't know them himself. This is not just unfair, it is irrational. And yet, it is a very human way to be irrational, too. I have caught myself on this one, most of us do it sometimes. So yes, I agree it is neither your fault nor your...

I think we need to be aware that in the mainstream culture, just agreeing to be in a relationship is taken to mean exclusivity. Given that we know that, we do have more of a duty to disclose other relationships. Let me give an analogy. You turn up at a restaurant, your table is not yet...

Absolutely. My analogy does not depend on that; I was using it as an example of how it is possible to control our thoughts indirectly by controlling our reading/surfing material, and about how when it is seen as a moral issue it becomes important to the people around us, and reasonable for them...

That is not quite right. I choose to focus my thoughts on sex towards the romantic channels. That is a choice. One of the ways I implement that choice is by not looking at porn, which tends to point them in another direction. This does not entirely stop the process of sometimes thinking about...

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/ Thanks for posting this: I found the 'husband' and 'single' options quite useful, even though I am neither. Some of the pairs were quite hard to decide; whereas all the pairs involving touch were obvious. As a polyaffectionate poly it was no...

When you tell someone, prefix it with 'we have an unconventional relationship', or 'I guess you could say we have an unconventional relationship' or similar. Three reasons why this will help some people. First: it gives them advance warning that they are going to hear something unusual. It will...