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1) I had not even thought about the "partners being biased" angle in talking to them about relationship issues, but it makes complete sense. Even if they are not all "choose meeeee", they are still ... likely to prefer one outcome over another. 2) The dibs thing is beyond weird. That would...

I just wanted to say I think it's awesome that you've been figuring out what you want and need in a relationship :) This is generally how I feel about it, too... And when I have been in the position of "outside partner", I've much preferred to hear "hey, this is where I am, this is what I...

Happy Birthday! I think a lot of the stuff we've both been processing lately boils down to wanting to be truly seen, known, understood for who we are. And valued for that. Not smushed into a shape marked "woman". No matter how beautiful you are (and lady I saw that picture, so I know!) being a...

So, yeah, I'm crushing. Hard. :o The kind where it's sooooo hard not to just write endlessly about everything he has said and every last little thing I have learned about him. I'm going to resist, for now, though. Because I have more important shit to do, if I'm going to have any chance of not...

That picture is truly beautuful. And your Zen looks nothing like I had expected! You have talked before about how you don't think others see his attractiveness... How could anyone miss it??? ;)

So, then I looked back at some of my worst poly freak out moments, and tried to remains them minus the fear of public loss of face. It was almost impossible for me to suspend my disbelief and imagine that no one was judging me :cool: so instead I just asked myself, what if no one knew? Dag...

I've been looking through The Jealousy Workbook, interesting, but frustrating trying to skim through endless pages of "does not apply" to get to the relevant parts. I'll probably write more about it another time... What made me start with it was an article by the author about drawing our charts...

Like Tinwen, I was not *taught* this stuff by my parents... I actually wasn't taught much about life by them, my dad was busy making money and my mom was busy being sick and then dying. My grandmother and aunts certainly put a lot of it in my head. "It's as easy to love a rich man as a poor...

This is how I've always thought about it, too. Watching porn is a very different experience than having sex with a partner, and both are enjoyable in their own right. I'm sure there are some men who see women solely as bodies and objects. But those guys are assholes and not worth anyone's...

Also, I have been bingeing on historical tv dramas lately, The Tudors, Medicis, The Borgias. Settings where a woman's value was based entirely on what men she could attract and what she could get from them in return for sex. Talk about a lightbulb going on in my brain. More like blinding...

A couple of random thoughts... I'll probably split this into multiple posts... My mind is sort of wandering tonight :rolleyes: Earlier today I was reading on another poly discussion group and ran across something that poked at my "can't break up because of poly" feelings. There was a mention of...

It's similar, though. I read about people spontaneously developing romantic or sexual feelings for someone new while they are already in a relationship... That has never happened for me. It takes effort, and emotional work, a lot of it, to feel relationship-y about two people at once, or even...

Aaaand here we go again. I have a crush. Suddenly I can't see continuing to chat with anyone else as anything but a boring chore. Why Claire why :confused: You haven't even met this guy! Keep your options open! Talk to other guys! Date! Explore! Some days I swear I wish I could just rewire my...

It's snowing :D This happens only once or twice a year in dallas, so it feels truly magical. The whole world shuts down and everyone huddles at home. I stocked up on firewood and Apple cider on the way home... Now I wish I'd left the Christmas tree up ;) Our older dog lived in New England with...

Worm: being poly means you're not allowed to break up over anything related to poly Most of my write-once-read-many scripts are hangovers from childhood, but this one came from researching and reading about polyamory over the past few years. It's basically a mistranslation of the standard...

Today is Andy's first day back at the office and... His car wouldn't start :rolleyes: Dead battery... Well, half dead, lights came on but engine wouldn't start. He took my car to work, figures this would happen on my day off, instead of carpooling to work, it's me home alone and bored. I dusted...

There's other stuff I had planned to write about tonight, but I'm kind of having a whiny, self pity moment... And I'm hoping if I write it out I'll feel better. Clark is such an awesome guy, I've really enjoyed hanging out with him, but I'm not feeling it as a long term thing :( He's so busy...

He's tried EVERYTHING :( - it's been an issue on and off his entire adult life. Every sleep aid, otc and rx, sleep studies, everything. The only thing that helps is antidepressants, but he can't handle how foggy they make him feel during the day. It's not an untenable situation at all for me...

I read Reverie's post about overnights and ... You guys, I'm just so weird. Sometimes it's like I'm backwards and upside down from everyone else. The overnight thing has been on my mind a little lately because Andy hasn't been staying at Steph's much lately. His insomnia is back, it's a...

Ok, everybody. Out with the old, in with the new (year) !!!! I have spent way more than enough time moaning about how poly didn't work for me. And everything I have said was true. But - I learned a lot about myself. I learned how I see relationships and what love and commitment mean to me. I...