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Tam has often suggested that we could move into a warehouse and just use bookcases for all the internal walls. I have started getting rid of some books but he regularly buys more. Leetah

I hope this is not triggering but I would think his promise to abandon the teenager in one year (on your say so) is more likely to exacerbate you abandonment issues. He is saying he is willing to abandon people for no fault of their own. Leetah

Ah! So it sounds to me as though it is the meaning of "belong" that gives trouble. Maybe you can think about that and see if there are ways that he can demonstrate belonging? Also, berating yourself in the momment is unlikely to help your mood. Leetah

Have some virtual hugs and chicken soup! Colds can get so bad especially as they drag out. Feel better soon! Leetah

I think it is OK to have boundaries even now. Prof's "Primary" must have some boundaries, she has to sleep and eat for instance. Same goes for anyone else involved with his care. Take only as much of a role as you can square with your feelings. He can throw $$$ at a professional care giver. Leetah

I'm glad to hear from you again, though very sorry to hear Maca is still messing up your family's life. May you get clear of him and be off to warmer climes soon! Leetah

Welcome Monkfish. New Relationship Energy (falling in love) can be powerful stuff. I felt disturbingly desperate when I fell in love after decades of marriage. I couldn't blame my husband for being hurt and angry but I also couldn't stop being in love. It was awful. It took a year of daily...

I’m glad you gave us an update and very glad to hear things are going so well! Leetah

You don't say how long you have known J but it sounds to me like things are moving too fast for you. You wanted to enoy the romance and getting to know each other but J wants to get very serious. It seems as though you you are feeling that J will be upset if you have recreational sex with M...

Hey U1234, welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear you are in such an uncomortable situation. My quick take is that you and your husband don't seem to have talked this over near enough. Is he able to damp down his libido long enough for the two of you to reflect and discuss this? Have you two...

It's an NBC show so maybe you can find it on their site. I think back episodes might be on hulu if you have that. Leetah

To save others from having to actually type in the search terms, here is an explanation. I don't know if it is still a thing or not, didn't look any further. http://aidamanduley.com/2015/09/01/stop-saying-poly-when-you-mean-polyamorous/

I agree. I don't see waiting around for things to improve. I would start putting things in place to exit the relationship. Leetah

i found the paradigm shift difficult and painful despite being the hinge of a V and my partners aren't involved with anyone else. Ours was not a carefully thought out polyamory though, I just fell madly in love while still loving my husband. It's going on 6 years and I still sometimes feel as...

I felt it leaned toward salacious, especially the pictures. It jumped randomly between different styles of CNM, though it did identify what style each person practices. I guess it had a generally positive tone though. Leetah

Yay! for the job negotiation working out so sweet! Oh No! for DK having to deal with family insanity just as he gears up for the new job! I hope you will soon be de-stressed and feeling healthy! Leetah

Yeah, dropping emotional bombs on someone getting ready for their PhD. defense is not nice. Your new love and all the nifty endorphins are REALLY hard to do without when you are under presure but your partner could be devestated if he flubs his defense or his thesis. Leetah

Also, if he refuses to calmly reach new agreements for your relationship, try not to fall for his "See! I knew you were going to leave me!" guilt trip. All relationships end one way or another so staying to prove something to him will not help either of you. Leetah

Inaniel, you told him that Women can't understand a man's experiences and to completely ignore articles by women talking about online dating. Perhaps you meant that because men and women often get different types of responses the strategies generally suggested for women seeking men are not so...

Why can't they understand someone else's experience? At least if they have tried to? Leetah