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Thanks to all the responses so far! Much appreciated. A bit more background... We started our polyamory journey 6 years ago, when I fell in love with another woman. It was totally unexpected for me and my wife! I was honest with her about it, but we were in a religious setting, which made it...

My wife has recently met a guy and has fallen in love with him. I am genuinely happy for her. What I am finding most painful, though, is that I can sense that she is more open emotionally and is more excited about seeing him than she is me. She has even said so herself. She is aware that she is...

Thanks again for everyone's comments! It is great to have a forum like this and to feel understood and cared for... It's amazing the difference a few days makes! The other night I was so sick and tired of feeling the pain, and knowing that unless something changed, the pain wasn't going to go...

Thanks for the comments so far! Bookbug, perhaps you are right. Perhaps I am going through some grief yet to be expressed. Having said that though, I feel like I've gone through 6 years of grief! Part of the difficulty is that I still have hope that the relationship may be rekindled. The...

Hi All, It's been a while since I've posted, so a quick update... I have been married for 20 years to my wife and we have 3 daughters. 6 years ago I fell in love with another woman but was still madly in love with my wife at the same time. I had never heard of polyamory and was firmly...

Hi VeronicaE, It's not that an uncommon experience I think what you are going through. My brother is going through the exact same thing at the moment. He is single, but has developed an attraction to a married woman and she is really keen to move ahead with him, but he is uncomfortable with the...

Interesting discussion... I think it is true that different people are at different places and like to discuss things to different depths. I am just like you, Vexxed. I am a very inquisitive person naturally, and always asking deeper questions of everyone I meet. I want to know as much as I...

Hi Thatgirl, I tend to agree with Mono on this one. You seem like a person able to look at all the consequences of your decisions rather than rashly make them. So you have made a considered decision and now you are regretting that decision. It seems to me that your regret may be telling you...

I agree Sage... All we can do is make the decisions that come to us in the moment. That doesn't mean we don't consider the ramifications of these decisions for the future. What it does mean though that in that moment, given all the considerations, what decision can you make. Making decisions...

Hi idrider, thanks for your best wishes for our situation! I know for me that sometimes what I think I want isn't always what I actually want or need. But if what I think I want is taken from me or I can't have it for some reason, it makes me want it even more... I wonder if this could be...

Hi idrider! I could relate to alot of what you were saying! I have been married to my wife for 20 years and we have always been known in everything as a couple - completely intertwined and entangled. We lived together, raised a family together, worked in the same business together, did our...

To add to the poly/mono experiences, I am poly (but with no other relationship at the moment) and my wife is primarily mono. My wife doesn't desire other relationships or seem to be filled by other relationship like I know I am. She likes alot of space to herself and is quite happy to have our...

Thanks for sharing Mohegan. It sounds like a very painful and long journey. I hope that good continues to come from it all... I do believe that openness and honesty is the best approach. Deciding what someone can and can't cope with in terms of honest information is dangerous ground and one...

Thanks for people's responses... Can you indulge me for another moment?.... I can hear the strong values coming through loud and clear. I have the same strong values around openness and honesty. My concern in it all is that often with strong values can lead to rigidity. I have come from a...

Thanks all, for your replies so far. Quite emphatic about the whole openness and honesty thing! I agree, and have talked about it like this to others. I especially like the thought that we are also entering into a relationship at some level with the other person's SO and so we do have a level of...

I'm interested to hear what people have to say about this, as it has come up in discussion a few times with people I start talking to about polyamory. If one person in a long-term relationship is starting another relationship, and they are very open with their LTR partner about it, and all is...

I too can see both sides... If my wife refused to talk at all about any encounters she had with someone else, I would feel disconnected from her. I don't want intimate details, but some general sharing helps us to connect, and I think is part of our intimacy. Having said that, it is her right...

Thanks for the comments, kind people. I am very aware that it is a huge shift to move from a monoamorous upbringing to a polyamorous one. I certainly don't expect that to shift overnight. We have been working through this for six years now. I don't think it's a patience thing, either. I think...

Thanks, Mono, for your response. I appreciate hearing your perspective. On the surface, it seems that the difference between the place you are at, the place my wife is at, is that I constantly feel like I am walking on eggshells with anything to do with poly. For example, I know she feels...

Thanks Abitofanerd, If you go to polyamory.org.au they list different discussion and social groups in Melbourne. They meet at the Glasshouse Hotel, 51 Gipps St, Collingwood. I've never been myself but would be curious to go sometime...