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Hi Sinew, I just read all the posts in this thread and related to a lot of it. My wife sounds like she is similar to you. She needs lots of space to process her emotions, and because of this, can tend to repress it, as well, or struggle to tell me. She has not wanted a poly life. I have...

Hi Abitofanerd, it sounds like you've been through alot. My heart goes out to you! I'm also from a rural community just out of Melbourne. If you don't mind me asking, which part of Melbourne are you from? All the best with your journey...

Hi Sikau, You sound a little like my wife, in that she also needs time to process feelings, and doesn't want to talk about them until she has a clearer understanding of them. I, on the other hand, find this very frustrating, because I want to talk out my feelings. When she withdraws to give...

Hi Sikau, I can totally relate to your story. I am 20 years married in a monogamous relationship, and we have been dealing with the poly side of things for the last 6 years while still remaining monogamous. I know that I have entered the rabbit hole and can't turn back. My wife is mono and...

Hey Gecko! My wife and I have been discussing things quite openly for a long time but somehow my wife has not been able to fully commit to the poly life for us because it is too painful for her. She even tried having another sexual relationship herself which she really enjoyed and it really...

Hi Gecko, You're making total sense! I have been open and honest with my wife about my feelings on poly for 6 years now. She is mono but I believe may possibly be able to be poly - that's yet to be seen... I know that being open and honest has still left me in a very unhappy place. I feel...

Welcome! I'm an Aussie too living just out of Melbourne. Which part of Darwin are you in? I spent 2 years in Ludmilla when I was a kid... You're right, it's hard not having people who understand and who you can talk too...

I know what you mean by feeling weird. It was the same for me when my wife had her first experience... The only thing I can offer is to not project into the future. This is the sort of thing that you can only take as it comes. You might only know if it's a long term thing once it's been a long...

I think it's great that you are aware that the problem is with you and your reaction to all this. I also think it's great that you so badly want to be OK with it all... I would hazard at a guess that these feelings that have arisen within you were inevitable and are just a part of what needs to...

Hi Alan (and Vixen), If I were to read between the lines, it appears that because of your past history together and the strong emotions involved in reuniting, it seems that the strength of the connection between the two of you is stronger than with you and Red. However, I also get the fact that...

Hi Alan, I have wondered the exact same thing at times. I have had a few friends who have had to come out as gay. Some of them were married with kids and got married to try to "cure" themselves. Finally they admitted to themselves that they were gay. In someways it might be similar with "poly"...

Hi Alan1969yes, Welcome aboard! Great to have you post! I assume the "1969" part means you were born then? I too am a 1969er and an Aussie living in Melbourne... Just to share a little, I am 20 years very happily married with 3 daughters and recently my wife and I have embarked on the journey...

Hi Masquerade78, I get surprised by people's naivite that it's okay for their partners to sleep with others, but by no means to get emotionally involved at all. I understand that this might happen at times, but it's also equally possible that emotions do get involved. Perhaps it's even...

Hi Aurora, Great to see another Aussie posting! I'm from Healesville just out of Melbourne. Would love to chat more about it all if you would like. You can PM me if you like and go from there... All the best!

Been married to my wife for 20 years. Came from a religious background. We were each other's first kiss and first boyfriend and girlfriend. We were virgins at our wedding. It goes without saying our intention was to be monogomous until "death do us part". Six years ago I met another woman who I...

Wow that sounds frustrating and painful to me... It would pain me greatly if my wife had a relationship with someone else and was pouring alot of energy into that without pouring alot of energy into our relationship as well. Is she happy in your relationship? If there isn't some honest...

Thanks Robin for your comments... You make a really good point about honesty. I hadn't thought of it this way. You are right, you are being honest - as honest as you can with what you know of yourself at that time. My wife is the same. She is being as honest as she can with what she knows of...

Hi Robin, I really appreciate your awareness around the confused communication... I am in a situation where my wife has been struggling with the concept of poly and one minute she expresses that she wants me to be in another relationship and the next minute her emotions show me that she is not...

That sounds good... I hope that being on here is helpful to all you... it certainly seems like you are all working hard to make it work...

Thanks for the clarification Joyce... it does sound like J is supportive... I know that for me, I would want to be having an honest conversation with the married partner of a woman I was considering to become a girlfriend. And if I saw the rollercoaster ride happening that seems to have been...