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If this is something you want to do, for you, and not just cause it's what your husband needs/wants then I think you first have to work on your self-esteem and mental problems. You've just attempted suicide, this doesn't seem to be a a good time to be exploring new relationship dynamics...

from what you posted it doesn't sound like you are ready to open up your marriage, and your husband seems to be pushing for it even though he knows you can't handle it. *hugs* and you shouldn't go along with it just to not lose him. Be true to yourself sweetie.