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I use OKCupid. There are a fair number of poly folk with profiles there. It is easier to weed out the people who are really not polyamorous than meeting people in a bar or elsewhere.

He doesn't want to tell his sister, but, wants her to meet the girlfriend? Do I have that correct? Because that....seems contradictory.... I don't know the situation on the ground well enough to say tell people or don't tell. Of the two of you, he may face more immediate fallout because of the...

For what it is worth, I have a Secondary's perspective on the situation.... Is the girlfriend paying any attention to how this guy is treating his wife? Because, really, if I saw a guy that I was dating neglecting his wife and newborn? I'd be gone so fast! NRE or not, I'm perfectly capable of...

It sounds like you expected a V, and he expected something more like a triad where everyone sleeps with everyone? If that is the case, then what is there to apologies for, really? "I'm sorry that I have boundaries and enforce them." isn't really...I'm not sure that I could say that in a way...

Sometimes? For some people? Jealousy is a big word, and in our culture it is used to cover a bunch of not really closely related things. Jealousy is used to cover insecurity and envy, for instance. If what you are actually dealing with is insecurity, work on the relationship so that you feel...

It sounds like the relationship itself is new, and hasn't had any sort of chance to settle into what it could be long term. It's NEW. Very new. Different people want different amounts of sex, and it's a (not accurate) stereotype that women want less than men. We are told that it's so, but, the...

"I want to believe him, he seems like such a sweet person, he has nice friends, his girlfriend seems great, but..." Just because he seems like a sweet person doesn't mean that you need to date him. Just because his friends are nice doesn't mean you have to date him. Just because some other...

I know that just meeting people doing whatever things you do is a nice way of going about it, but, I would never have crossed paths with my boyfriend without OKCupid. We look back at all the paths that we could have taken that would not have had us meeting up and wonder, occasionally, at our...

From my lofty position of 11 months in to a relationship where I'm dating a married poly guy, my advice is don't tell her that you don't like her. Don't assume that she doesn't like you, either. I wouldn't avoid her as much as it seems that you are planning to. I would stay civil, polite and...

The boyfriend does not sound like a catch. Your life sounds like it would be immensely simpler without him. Take a break and work on making things simpler and more comfortable for a while. Talk to your husband, even if there's no hope for romance. Keep the communication open and as civil or...

That sounds painful, and I am sorry. I do have a couple questions though. It looks like MFF polyfi triads are the way you do poly? That seems to be the way you have settled in comfortably in the past. Is that also the form that Bryce would be looking for, and is his request for you to hold on...

If a guy is very much not ok with abortion, and does not want kids, then he had better step up and take responsibility for what he can do birth control wise. No guy with attitudes like that would get near me without a condom. The guys that I know that don't want kids use condoms...

This. So much this. Not everyone is in the same place regarding boundaries and trusting their own judgement, and some people need the bluntness or they won't see it. I am more aware of my boundaries than I used to be, and better at seeing behaviors that are testing the boundaries than I was...

Antipoly, you have brought in the bestiality and pedophilia slippery slope argument and therefore are either missing the HONESTY AND CONSENT part of this or are ignoring it deliberately in order to stir things up. I suspect it is the latter, that you are ignoring it to stir things up, and that...

That is so awesome!

I don't care for the idea that just because I am not polyfi that I will sleep with anything that moves. I have a couple of very nice relationships, and if someone wants to spend time with me they need to be worth a relationship. I don't really go for one night stands...it isn't the body or the...

Wow, it's wonderful that you figured out something that would help, and it's wonderful that your husband is actually doing it.

I don't know about directing anyone over to the pick up artists. They may have a few useful nuggets, but, there are unattractive attitudes there that might be catching as well. I will admit that confidence is attractive, and a lot of what they teach is how to project confidence even if you...

Wow. Please try using paragraphs and punctuation. Walls of text are horribly hard to read, and many people stop part way through and give up. If you want people to pay attention to you in an online text only environment, you need to make it easier for your readers. I am poly, and my main lover...

Not all poly is threesomes or triads with everyone sleeping together. His blaming you for not trying to get her back for him is, pardon me, bullshit. You shouldn't have to arrange his relationship with her. That is HIS business. I'd be supportive with a shoulder to lean on, but, I would never...