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How about giving yourself a personal time limit? On one hand you really want to know where he stands for the future, on the other you want to give him some time to know for sure. You also know you can't do this forever, but don't want to be nagging or pressuring him in the meantime. It seems...

Long Overdue Update So I took my sweet time considering what to say/do about the situation. I simply felt like I couldn't get enough information! (Or was just being a wuss). Instead, my husband had a talk with him without telling me. He figured something had to be said, and if I were only...

I think I understand your position. Mine was very similar. It's almost like playing a game with someone who you know is cheating/not playing fair. You know you can't win, because you aren't cheating, but if you DID cheat, you wouldn't deserve to win any more than she does. Worse, you would be...

Actually being a guy (artemis' hubby here) I can attest that when you actually first start thinking about lesbians (our first thought is maybe just bi and bi equals 3-some). Same with poly if you don't know what it is about.... poly usually goes hand in hand with swinging in a lot of people...

You sound very conflicted, almost as if you wish you didn't feel this way. Also the depression seems to still be a big issue. I can't say what is the right path for your relationships. Your depression complicates things. Your feelings are real, but because of the way the illnesses are...

yes, it looks like this IS about trust. this can seem odd since you are the one with a shiny new bf, as if he is the only one making a leap of faith and trust. but it involves you having faith and trust, too! you have to have faith that he is honest with you, that he will bring up his...

Only you can figure out if this is something you can live with or not. In any romantic relationship, there is a difference between the things you want and the things you need. Finding out what those things are is more difficult than it sounds. Sure, anyone could sit down and make a list of...

It's so exciting and wonderful that you are discovering and exploring both within yourself and within your relationship. It sounds like you are really on a roll with digging everything up that could be between you. It can be really scary at first. A lot of that stuff stays in the dark because it...

I actually find the use of the word "break" to be very clear, but not in the way that you are breaking ties (or "cutting" ties or "cutting" someone out of your life) It's VERY similar to agreeing to break a promise. Spoken or unspoken, knowingly or unknowingly, most romantic relationships come...

How wonderful! Congratulations to you both! Isn't it such a pleasant surprise when you expect a conversation to be so awkward and difficult, but instead you find yourselves working together and on the same page? No matter where your boundaries eventually land, I think its great that you are...

It also sounds to me like confusion over terminology and definitions. In the end, a term is only a tool to describe something, NOT a box to fit into. There are so many different variables and situations in relationships, it always seemed silly to me that people would try to fit into one of only...

oh, maybe I wasn't clear about what I meant when I said I knew I had stayed in a relationship that I knew wasn't good. No, I have never been in a relationship like the one I have with him before. What I was meaning to refer to is that in my past, I have been in a monogamous relationship with...

I guess I did expect some dismayed responses to the fact that he is cheating on his girlfriend. I have no intentions of defending his actions here - or anywhere. There simply IS no defense for something like that. But I wound like to clarify and reiterate a few things about it. First off, I...

Ok here goes: My Temperament and Some Clues: About my angle/history first. I think in my heart (and a lot of my actions) I have always leaned toward polyamory. I never get jealous or understood jealousy, as if I was born without it. Even when my high school boyfriend cheated on me, it was...

Thanks everyone! I suppose it's time to open the can of worms. I'll make a thread in the "new to polyamory" section. ALL (respectful) comments welcome.

never stripped myself, but have worked as a bartender/day manager in a strip club. as comfortable as i am with my own nudity and sexuality, i dont think i could strip. something about having to be sexy on purpose doesn't make me comfortable. just like you could be a naturally funny person...

best of luck to you! i'm new here, too. i'm a little curious, though: why aren't you going to tell him you are researching this? or at least broach the topic? i mean, you obviously need some time to get your head wrapped around the details, sort out how you feel, and learn whats out there -...

Hello! Looks like those who come here all have a long and complicated situation they desperately need advice on. Although all relationships are unique, it must get a little old/repetitive. Well, I've got one, too! But this is an intro thread, so we will stick with the basics, maybe move on...