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Yeah, I don't think I'll be tap-dancing around any subjects for fear of hurting his feelings anymore. I did that at first because it was new and I didn't want him to feel unaccepted (which he has a sensitivity to). So I gave him the choice: Do you want me to be perfectly honest or do you want me...

This is all very good advice and I plan on implementing every piece....in appropriate time, of course. Thank you. :)

He absolutely could have spelled it out more clearly. We spent one romantic weekend together and for all I knew, that was going to be it. We talked about poly in theoretical terms....as it concerned HIS life. Not mine. He never asked me how I felt about it. He never asked me if I would be...

Awesome. I like that answer. Takes the pressure off me. :)

Ok, I'm confused. Aren't there plenty of people on here that are mono but in a relationship with a poly? Isn't that what I'm trying to do? As far as our poly conversation goes, read my response to Gala and maybe that will better explain the situation.

I'm talking about HIM being shy. He approaches people very carefully and I'm just concerned if he takes too long to tell a potential suitor about his poly intentions, things could get very messy and people could get hurt (meaning the other girls). Like how he approached me with it. We were just...

This is great. Exactly the kind of guideline I need. I sent him the link about the different types of relationships. He had no idea there were so many! Lol I am like you, I would be very straight up about my situation. But we all have different personalities and things we're going to be...

So, are you saying not to do this because neither one of us has never done it before or because he's not perfect at relationships?

This is what I'm hearing the most and sounds the most important. Communication and trust. It sounds like it would be prudent for us to very consciously try and cultivate those.

No, you're absolutely right. He and I would definitely have to have a discussion about there being absolutely NO passive-aggression. I'm feeling a little more relaxed about the situation after I talked to him this afternoon and told him i wasn't even going to consider this until he was more...

O.M.G., I. LOVE. YOU! This is exactly how I am comfortable operating. That whole, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them" thing? Yep. Right there. Since this is so new to both of us I feel like giving it time to work out some wrinkles. He definitely seems like someone who will put in...

Here's what would happen with my ex - I could sense a shift in his behavior. I knew something was wrong. I would ask him about it. He denied that anything was wrong. (Starting a nice little cycle of making me feel like I was crazy! Ugh.) This would go on for SIX WEEKS. Our relationship suffered...

Sorry. I only posted a duplicate thread because I thought it would post that time when the other one wouldn't. The moderator said the system flags long posts and that's why it didn't go through. Any idea how to delete the duplicate post?

All good points. I should probably clarify that the "Punch in the face" comment was exaggerated. I didn't mean that literally. It was more to convey how it would hurt me. Fear? Lots and lots of it! Not only about this situation but the last relationship I was in was 10 yrs ago with the only man...

Thank you so much, Magdlyn! It helps so much to hear your personal stories. :)

That's a very good idea, Kella. I just might do that. :)

Ha! I totally agree. This guy isn't like that at all. If he was, I would have no interest in him. He's interested in the connection, as am I. But he never dated around when he was younger, like most people do and he still seems to have that curiosity about what other people are like. He also...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is what I was looking for! That is exactly how I'm feeling. I'm feeling condemnation from some people because he and I aren't being completely open and honest and there's not complete trust there. Well guess what?? We're not there yet! Again, I keep hearing...

Thanks. That's the stuff I needed to hear. Right now I'm about getting what I need and protecting my own interests. But he and I aren't at a stage where we really care about each other yet. He has a lot of other things in his life, hobbies and such, that I'm taking no interest in at the moment...

I can see how it would look that way, but no, I'm not looking to have him all to myself. That would be too much for me right now. I'm kind of exploring new territory here because the last time I dated, I had an agenda. To get married. I don't have that agenda anymore and so I really don't know...