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Hey friends, thank you all for your concern, I know it sounds crazy of me to hang in there but I don't give in that easily! Plus there are so many other things to consider that I don't think this is the right time for me to take action. We are planning to sell this house after the baby is born...

I agree he's trying to evade responsibility, that is why I won't be the one to leave. He must decide what he wants and suffer the consequences. I still believe (because he's in so much flux) that there's still hope and I will fight for him regardless. He has stuck by me through really tough...

Hi Daisyboo, It's so hard when kids are involved, but there's just no way I would allow another woman to move in! NEVER! All I have going for me right now is that my husband hasn't actually started a new relationship with another woman (yet!). It's the only thing that gives me hope in such a...

Me and my feelings don't seem to be much of a concern at the moment, but I guess if I can survive all this crap - then I'm much stronger than I thought! it's the only positive I can see right now. For my own sanity I must come to a place in my heart where I can let him go and know I'll still be...

I agree, it seems like he's just trying avoid the title of "adulterer" by adding a "spiritual" dimension to the whole idea. Just recently, due to various audiobooks he's been listening to (Mastery of Love, etc) he now sees himself as "highly intuitive" (but unfortunately NOT so sensitive!) He...

I know, I've tried to tell him that I don't think it's love but he won't listen, he does have tunnel vision...but there comes a point when I think it would be better for them to get together just so he can see that she's only human like the rest of us, with faults and imperfections. Until then...

P.S. I told him he WAS a married douche bag!

Hi, I printed off and showed him all the responses I've received from this thread, I think he now understands that there's more to being poly than just having unbridled fun! However, although he agrees this is the case, he's still into the idea of some outer-marriage liaison, it will probably...

Juggling multiple schedules, relationships, needs, etc., doesn't just happen on its own because it "sounds wonderful". It takes effort and work. he has a job he hates...so what's he doing to make a job/career change? Has problems in his relationship with you....but won't see a counselor I...

Hi, I agree, I won't just accept a poly lifestyle when it's not for me, there's no point in sacrificing my chance of long term happiness for the sake of his (not so well thought out!) short term impulses. Considering a poly-lifestyle certainly appeared to me as a weak attempt to circumvent...

Hi, I don't think he'd considered the reality of it, he agreed this morning that there was an element of escapism in the idea...(just a bit!)

thanks, I will do that, I don't think he's had a good check up for ages...

Yes, time is certainly running out for me! I agree there is avoidance issues and lack of "feet firmly on the ground" It's such an odd time for this type of discussion that I guess I was blindsided even though I could tell something big was coming...I have my Mum around but we don't speak about...

Hi, to answer some of your questions, I have no doubt that “it is possible to have a strong and healthy marriage in which both partners are open to close relationships with others.” But unfortunately we are not operating from a strong and healthy marriage it has been suffering badly since my son...

Thank you for showing concern, it's nice to have some confirmation that I'm not going crazy! I too am wondering how this could even be on his mind right now....I'm still half in shock that he's even mentioned it, but to be honest, with him, nothing surprises me lately! He said he just can't help...

Hi, you are right, even though we had always planned to have 2 kids (with time running out, I am 40) it was a shock for him and I don't think he could accept it. This baby won't live anyway due to severe genetic problems, so it's just a matter of getting through this painful time. With all the...

Hi, Thanks for responding, I know him well. Once he gets a bee in his bonnet he just won't let it go. The discussion went like this, he said, "Today I found a word for what I've been searching for, what I've been needing and feeling for quite a while. I've sent you some links to read." He...

Hi, just wondering how you went with your husband wanting to be poly and you not, I am in the same situation now and it sucks! Best Wishes, Lila

Hi, I am new to all this, my husband of 20yrs just told me last night that he wants me to consider polyamory. I don't want to, we have had our issues but I think things could be worked out if we made more effort. (ie. we've not been out on a "date night" for over 4 years!) I guess the only...