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So, I have to say first of all that I am extremely new to this polyamorous thing, but basically I have figured out that I am capable of loving more than one person. I have a fantastic primary partnership, where she is sexually non-monogamous but not emotionally non-monogamous. I, however, have...

So, I am not so much interested in advice, as hearing from others what happened in their relationships when cheating/lying occurred and how they dealt with it. Does anyone have experiences where you were able to trust again? What did it take? I spoke about this in a previous post today. I am...

I just don't know what to make of all of these responses. Thank you all. Its so mixed ... on one hand I feel that some of you are saying it is promising and on the other I feel that you are saying I may never be able to fully trust again. If I can't, then how do I continue in this? Has...

(continued) It is tense in our relationship now - I tend to want to process stuff a lot because when there is a problem I want to fix it. She needs more space from this stuff than I do - and it is hard to find a balance of communication that works well for both of us where I am not bogging the...

Hey all, So I posted a few times last year but have not been back on in quite sometime. I will try to summarize our background and then go into the current situation: I've been with my girlfriend now for 2 years and about 4 months. At the beginning of our relationship, she voiced to me...

also ... I'm SUPER new at this. So my insights about it are probably only as good as yours or any others at this point. I think I'm pretty insightful, but definitely not experienced at this stuff.

retaliation Well, I think you first have to be honest with yourself if it is about "retaliation." Because if it is, then that might not be good. I think another thing to check in with yourself about is to see if it is to cover up the painful feelings of your partner being with another woman...

different needs This last piece here is something that I am experiencing. My partner and I sometimes have very different needs and it has been a point of conflict lately where I wanted to know certain information about what she was doing in bed with another partner and had certain needs around...

Yea, I flirt with other people and definitely look for hook ups. I haven't had sex with anyone else yet, but I have kissed another person. Redpepper, thank you. That was so immensely helpful ... especially the part about just being allowed to blow up and telling your partner not to take you...

Does anyone else experience this? I think I just need to know that I am not alone in this. Even just the thought of my girlfriend being with someone else sexually makes me want to cry right now. I know I have abandonement issues and our non-monogamous relationship sets the stage for that to...

Thanks for all the feedback. I too agree that rules can be like a false sense of security ... but they do also establish boundaries. I am new to all of this and I have to figure out what I am okay with and what I am not okay with. If she is to only give her love to me ... what does that look...

yea, a checklist perhaps ... I'm having a hard time even just finding a list of sexual behaviors outlined on the internet. You would think that wouldn't be too difficult. So yea, I'm looking for a list of sexual behaviors to negotiate and I guess a list of examples of rules/boundaries.

Anyone have a fairly exhaustive list of rules and sexual behaviors for negotiating non monogamous relationships?

Everyone has said good stuff ... I particularly agree here with Ariakas. When I met my current gf, I didn't think that I was into BDSM or kink and I didn't think I would be into polygamy either. Now I've realized that there are many facets to BDSM that I do enjoy and that I just had to give...

thanks Thanks for all of your comments. You hit the nail right on the head ... I am at a point where I have been presented with a new way of being, and so I get to make a choice. In many many ways it is a great gift. My friends have said that they NEVER would have thought that *I* would...

I've been with my girlfriend now for a year and about 4 months. At the beginning of our relationship, she voiced to me that it is important for her to have the option available to hook up with other people outside of her primary relationship. She qualified that it would probably rarely happen...