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  1. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    I have two lovers not including Kuroi. I've yet to give them names here. I'll call one Darkness the other Mysteriousness Kuroi and I aren't exactly lovers, but aren't exactly not lovers either. Hmm I think at this point we'd be considered fuck buddies or friends with benefits type thing...
  2. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    Well I'm officially dating both my loves, I've accepted or agreed to relationship titles/terminology with one love and considering alternative title with the other. You know that bf/gf thing. Yeah not my style generally speaking, but it means something to my love. Having titles has been wanted...
  3. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    Been a while Wow, it's been close to a year since I updated this. Really not sure what to say. Not sure it's worth it to catch my story up or not. As you may imagine much has happened. I've moved several times. Not certain what is real with Kuroi, but I listen to his things when he wants to...
  4. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    More good things. Something to save here for later.
  5. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    Thoughtful words, that work in many situations.
  6. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    Apologies All three of us owe each other thoughtful, heartfelt, meaningful apologies for the way we have acted individually, and within our relationships to each other. We each need to apologize for how we have acted, how we have behaved poorly towards one another. We each need to recognize...
  7. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    let's run away together get the band back together a fresh start in a new city we can do this we can work it out I'm ready to be just us again so many possibilities, positive and negative possibilities. Another chance for us, family once again. A big risk, with potential big benefits. lost...
  8. Murasaki

    What did you do today that made you smile?

    Bump I went on a fun motorcycle ride with my love, then later went for a bike ride by my self. Both had me smiling and were lots of fun.
  9. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    Until this weekend I stil had hope for something else, This isn't what I wanted. There is still time for things to change, but right now how I feel is that I won't be coming back. And that if i do it will be for Momoiroi not Kuroi. And I'll be sure to live much farther away than I do now...
  10. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    Learning how to be friends I've spent too many years in love with Kuroi, to many years. It will be hard to be only friends, to let everything else go. It is also hard to love a liar, but how does one unlove someone? What is love, real love if one can set it aside when things get difficult...
  11. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    Kdt, Kuroi and I will always be a part of each others life, how we will fit together remains to be determined. We may never be able to be more than friends again, or we may become lovers, and committed marriage partners again. I expect we will remain poly people, but have no idea what the...
  12. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    After the drunken night where Kuroi eneded up at Kimidori's place this was discussed. No Kuroi didn't go there for Kimidori's personality, only for something physical. Kimidori isn't healthy mental or emotional. That was something we didn't see, and it brough our family into it's own unhealthy...
  13. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    almost a year later It has been a long while since last I posted here. Many things have happened. At the end of October, I kicked Kuroi out, there were more lies and deceptions and I’d had enough. I wasn’t willing to have Kuroi even as a roommate under those circumstances. Kuroi moved in with...
  14. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    Kuroi and I have had a few talks with each other this week. Many of which have been very anger and sadness filled. Thursday we both came to the conclusion that we don’t really want our relationship to end, but that what we need is time away from each other. Space. We have talked about Kuroi...
  15. Murasaki

    Primary and Secondary

    Revkah's answer in another thread I have seen a lot of new to the forum people use just the first letter of their partner's name. Seem Rekah is doing the same, but added something she felt was humorous to it. Not surprisingly, it's not having that affect on strangers on the internet. Maybe...
  16. Murasaki

    Looking for advice/perspective

    I’m not so sure that this particular case is a “blanket obsession” to people sticking to their word. It seems more like a build up of issues being expressed and this happened to be the target. like the straw that started the argument. The first complaint, issue was the constant change of rules...
  17. Murasaki

    Looking for advice/perspective

    I’d rather argue some arbitrate point with you then deal with the whirlwind of emotions of breaking up with Kuroi. That being said it seem prudent to be clear that I am in a heightened emotional state, and that the perceived tone may not be what I actually feel for this topic, versus what I’m...
  18. Murasaki

    Looking for advice/perspective

    Marcus I didn't feel like quoting anyone else, so I'm admitting up front to being lazy. And since I do disagree with some of what you are saying, (mostly based on MY PERCEPTION of the OP's posts) I decided to share at least that much of my thoughts today. The amount of irritation would depend...
  19. Murasaki

    Looking for advice/perspective

    I'll have to disagree. If I am told Hey I'm going to walk around in downtown, see you at X time, or I'll let you know if anything changes. Then within a reasonable time for say traffic or what not (usually 15-20ish mins) I expect to see you walking through the door. Doesn't need a "date" or...
  20. Murasaki

    ​The thoughts and condition of Murasaki

    I broke up with Kuroi last night. I still Love Kuroi, still want Kuroi in my life, but our romantic relationship is over. At least for now. I can hope that things will change, but I do not expect that it will. I am sad, hurt, and angry. Kuroi cried with my arms for comfort. We are still each...
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