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Thank you LR This speaks to me. So I wanted to save it here for reading again.

I’m with Marcus here. Thinking from the mono perspective that is a very rigid lifestyle choice. it works for maybe half of society. meaning that there are how many poly peoples, and how many divorces? And again I’m with Marcus, this reads as one of many insecurities, maybe a fear of becoming...

When does N inform the people he's meeting that he is married? Right out of the gate, or after genuine interest is expressed by the person he meet? I tend to refer to Kuroi as my partner, sometimes as my life partner. I used to specifically say I was married, but I too have found this "married"...

Kevin T, I’m not sure what to tell you, basically I’m not sure what I am comfortable sharing right now. It was not just NRE things that caused issues. There are also things that my ex specifically DID, things said, behaviors that I’m not ok having in my life. The problem right now I think, is...

This. Something to remember, and possibly to live by.

You might start by working with everyone's schedules. Looks like you have some “set” plans already. If you are just trying to figure out how to keep up with everything you might look into Google Calendar. Right now I have two Shared Calendars with my partner. One for job schedules, and one for...

The Poly learning Curve Here's a graphic for a game, but from what I have read here it fits with figuring out Poly as well. The Poly Learning Curve. The issues you have talked about can often be worked out through educating yourself. I would suggest you check out the "golden Nuggets"...

As much as I like the way you have a family centric poly tribe. This frightens me. That’s just too many people living too close to me. >.> Sometime the three people in my own home is too much. I think we just need a BIGGER place. Maybe something where I can build one of those tiny houses in the...

That’s a good question to ask. Everyone has a different idea of what responsibility is. Your examples fit with mine. In relationships of certain kinds there are some unspoken “expectations” that can be considered “responsibilities”. I feel that as a friend it’s my responsibility to be available...

This. <3 I have “rules” within me that dictate how I will go about a relationship, new lovers, new friends. The ONE time I set my inner “rules” aside turned out VERY badly for ME. Why would I do that again just because someone else THINKS it’s “couple privilege” or that my current relationship...

I have not seen, or read this into anything by any poster in this thread. That you continue to base your argument from this standpoint is beyond bizarre to me. The first one is a good example of unreasonable expectations. The second one sounds like an unrealistic interpretation of something...

Doh! Yeah I’m sick with a cold (maybe the flu) and needed sleep badly when I made that post. What I meant by “stumble” is indeed the “accidental” triads that sometimes form. Not a unicorn hunting couple who is stumbling into/through poly. Yep, that’s what I’ve noticed so far. Not having...

You guys have me thinking I should soo be sleeping right now, but I saw "throuple" and had to read this thread, now I have unanswered questions. I like statistics. Does anyone have the stats for V’s? success versus ending within say a year? Oh and what Nycindie said, what is the success...

When my relationship with my ex became a triad including Kuroi, Kuroi experienced NRE for the first time in 15-20 years. It was very powerful, and caused a LOT of problems between us (we are still working to correct these things). One of the things where Kuroi “dropped the ball” has to do with...

There are a lot of unrealistic expectations out there. Having unrealistic expectations can be reduced by communication. If the people with expectations on each other don’t talk about the changes that can or will happen when they start dating then problems ensue. However couples, or established...

My spouse and I never had “rules” and now that I’m wanting some rules none of what I am talking about/suggesting controls what Kuroi and a new person can do between themselves. The only restrictive things Kuroi (and myself for that matter) have to work around is the inability to have a...

trying to catch up Until your comment about sharing emails I had not thought of a triad or V exhibiting privilege over a new relationship. I guess we are both thankful to your remarks on emailing :) It makes just as much sense as a couple who act in a privileged fashion. Food for thought. On...

​ 1. yes 2. yes 3. yes, that's harder to answer it was a long conversation. To be honest, I don't feel he understood why I was saying that at the time. Kuroi's response was that a new partner would be difficult to find considering person limitations. Kuroi's limitations, not mine. Kuroi is...

Well, I got a lot of sleep today (after work), and I'm about to go back to bed. Unfortunately Kuroi basically got stood up. Sadness. It's strange actually. Kuroi invited someone for a midday walk and art stuff. They agreed and gave thier phone number (Kuroi didn't get the chance to ask). So...

Sadness. Today is a sick day for me. So I'm curled up on the couch with a cup of hot tea. Gonna snuggle down (by myself) and read till I fall asleep. I have some reading, and responding to catch up on, so I'll be back later.